Walking in Faith

 

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All journeys begin with a first step, and another, and another. The farther we travel, the heavier each step becomes unless we have hope of finding resting spots along the way.

We get up each morning and restart our journey. This section might be easier or harder than the one before, but one thing never changes. Our faith will give us the strength we need to face whatever trials await us.

“Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Jeremiah 40:31.

This scripture lifted my spirits in a very personal way. First, I strained the hamstrings on both of my legs during my last move. The simple acts of walking or getting up and down from a chair are difficult. According to my doctor, only physical therapy will heal the injury. With effort and prayer, I’m confident I too will eventually walk and not be weary.

I’ve grown weary in other ways too. My heart longs for a place that I can once again call home, a place with deep connections to family and community.

God answered my prayer with scripture. “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” Jeremiah 29:11.

During my last visit with my daughter to my hometown, friends asked me to breakfast. At first, I hesitated, then decided not to blow off the invitation. I’m so glad I listened to that nudge from the Holy Spirit.

My friends invited one of our former classmates to join us. Ed and I had often crossed paths before I moved out of state, and his kindness always impressed me. Fifty years later, we are both single and at a crossroads in our lives. We both felt an instant connection, which has only intensified with every phone call, text, and visit since that initial meeting.

Now I understand why this scripture kept popping up in so many uncanny ways over the course of this last year. “Then the Lord God said, ‘It’s not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.’” Genesis 2:18.

And so, those who wait for the Lord not only see their strength restored through His grace, but they will also see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living, regardless of age or circumstances.

Thank you, Lord, for blessing this woman with renewed strength and a companion to walk with, side by side, with You. Amen.  

No Holy Abracadabra

 

Image by Willgard Krause from Pixabay

I’ve started a new devotion, Running From a Crazy Man (and Other Adventures Traveling with Jesus) by Lori Stanley Reoleveld. Her fresh point of view and entertaining writing style have given me many things to ponder.

This morning, the chapter was titled, Waiting for the Holy Abracadabra. In other words, praying hard for a miracle to get us out of our current fix, or give us something we want. Sometimes God does, but most often he says no to our requests and instead walks with us through the trial. God’s always right, of course, but it doesn’t necessarily seem that way at the time. As in my current circumstances.

It was then I realized my attitude has changed. My prayers are not for myself. God doesn’t need to fix anything. There are others who need a miracle, an answered prayer, far more than me.

Why this change?

I’m truly leaving my life in God’s hands. After all, he promised, “I would see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13.

This current transition period will pass, and God has promised a new future. I’m at peace with whatever that is. That doesn’t mean I’m not grieving and struggling to adjust, but it's not all consuming. 

I spent last evening with my son and his family, which was a blessing in itself, but when I walked into the house, my first thought was, “I’m home.” 

This place is no longer strange. It is my home. 

How many homes will I have? Only God knows, but regardless of how many or wherever they might be, God’s already there.   

Thank you, Lord. Amen. 

He Called My Name

Image by Alexa from Pixabay

I recently detected possible symptoms of cancer in my right breast. The earliest appointment for my annual mammogram isn’t until the 12^th of May. An appointment with my physician isn’t available until the 5^th.

I stood in the master bathroom rubbing my temples, trying to figure out what to do if my cancer had returned. How was I going to manage another mastectomy while living alone, selling my house, and packing for my eventual move? If the house sold, where would I live while I underwent treatments? 

A voice called from the front room. “Marie!”

I answered without thinking. “What?”

Then, I remembered I was alone in the house.

But in case it was one of my neighbors, I hurried to the front room. Of course, there was no one there.

Chills ran up and down my arms. I definitely heard a voice, but that made no sense.

Unable to explain or rationalize the incident, I put it aside — until two scriptures popped up in my FB newsfeed when I opened the app. Jeremiah 29:11 and Ecclesiastes 3:1. Both verses had been in my recent devotions multiple times, and yet I didn’t take them to heart.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1: “For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven.”

Although the verses seemed to refer to my current situation, I still didn’t take them as personal promises.

Looking for a distraction, I watched a movie. One of the characters quoted none other than Jeremiah 29:11.

Between my shouted name and the repetitions of the scriptures, I once again gave my concerns to God. My cancer symptoms disappeared. My realtor called with appointments for more showings. A few buyers indicated serious interest. Although, none have made an offer, I’m not worried. At least right now. I’m sure doubts and insecurities will raise their ugly heads again, but I have no doubt God will devise an amazing way to get my attention and reassure me he is still in control of my future.

Dear Lord, thank you for loving me enough to shout at me like the wayward child I am and reassure me I don’t need to fear the future. You are already there. Amen.

 

I Believe...

Image by Alexa from Pixabay

 I’m still struggling to believe my husband is gone. I expect him to be in his office, or at the store, and will come striding in at any moment. The hard tears haven’t come — yet. Too many chores and endless paperwork have kept me too busy to address my emotions.

Except Valentine’s Day. I won’t lie. That day was hard.

However. God didn’t let me wallow in self-pity. He sent two angels with reminders that there are those who think about me. Maybe not in a romantic way but thought of just the same.

My sweet sister-in-law sent me a heart-warming video of four-footed companions who show us love in so many ways, reminding me I still have our Cooper. He’s a snuggly (even if annoying sometimes), companion who loves me.

That alone was enough to change my thoughts, but God sent another angel. My realtor left me a sweet card, a bar of chocolate, and a personal bottle of sparkling wine. My day turned into a lighter gray and gave me several reasons to smile.

After my second husband passed away, and I was facing similar uncertainties over my future, this scripture was in my morning devotions. It helped me through those difficult times. It appeared again this morning.

“I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13.

I miss my husband, but this ache and emptiness will fade, and God will reveal a new purpose for my life.

Until then, I must “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let [my] heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Psalm 27:14.

Thank you, Lord. You always know what I need to hear when my struggles seem unsurmountable. Amen.

Being an Author

 

Image stolen from Facebook 

This meme is too true to be completely funny, especially since I’m working on another fantasy. It takes time to figure out and describe food, animals, countryside, towns, villages, and characters. Never mind the plot.

It reminds me of creation. God called forth an entire universe and our amazing world. Some of which we have yet to discover. The vastness and uniqueness boggles the mind, along with the complexity we struggle to unravel. How small my little fantasy world is in comparison!

Then, He created us.

In His image.

We are far more complex than we can comprehend, both mind and body.

God went even further, becoming a man. Like us. Another truth that defies our understanding.

This, of course, is where faith comes in. There are so many questions so complex our minds cannot absorb them, and we simply have to trust.

Simply trust.

Not so simple, is it? We flounder. We question. We wrestle.

How much easier life would be if we didn’t struggle so much. As Jesus said, we must become like children. Trusting. Living in the moment. Not worrying about the past or the future.

It’s hard.

God, being the Author of our stories, knows how it will end — in Paradise with Him — as long as we believe.

It’s all the stuff in between that causes all the angst. He throws challenges at us to test our faith (for our benefit). He already knows our hearts, but we don’t until we’re tried in difficulties. He also wisely uses the difficult circumstances to prove our dependency on Him and His faithfulness to His promises.

As I’ve aged, I’ve gotten better at trusting. How could I not after so many life experiences, blessings, and miracles?

However, I look back and wish I’d had more faith at times. How much easier life would have been. But I can’t go back and change it, so I need to focus on today and leave both the past and the future in God’s hands.

I’m sure I’ll be repeating that mantra until I draw my last breath.

Dear Lord, keep me close to you. Don’t let me wander down any path where You do not lead. Amen.

 

A Rugged Life

My husband and I watched the movie Rugged Gold. The true story of a socialite who married an Alaskan miner. During one of the big Alaskan earthquakes, she was separated from her family and forced to survive the harsh winter, alone on an isolated island, injured and pregnant.

After the movie, I mentioned how well she handled all of her struggles.

My husband said, “You’ve done well too, after all your experiences.”

 Perhaps, thanks to my faith. But all those situations left scars not only on my flesh but also on my heart, soul, and mind - as I'm sure her did too! 

One woman once told me, “You are one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. How did you survive all that?”

My first response was, “I had no choice.”

But was that true?

Looking back, I had choices. There were different paths I could have taken and skipped a lot of heartache (maybe), but I followed God’s will instead of my own. Besides, who knows what those other choices would have led to?

God knows the answer, and because of that, He chose my life paths.

I don’t regret any of my choices that aligned with His will. However, sometimes my mind plays with different scenarios, wondering how my life might look today had I made different choices. But I always come back to the same truth. God chose my paths. How could they be wrong? Even if they were filled with challenges, heartaches, and sorrows, the paths have also been filled with great joy. Joys I would have missed out on if I had chosen differently. 

My heart and prayers go out to those struggling on their paths, doing their best to survive. Their struggles may not be like mine, or yours, or like the poor woman alone in the Alaskan wilderness, but they are still filled with challenges and heartaches.

May God be with them every step, as He has been for me. Amen.

Miracles

In my last post, I mentioned how I saw rainbows everywhere. As they usually precede a miracle, I first believed the miracle was avoiding an emergency room visit due to a reaction from my new medication. I took Zyrtec as the last ER doctor suggested, and although the symptoms persisted for several days, they were not bad enough to seek medical help.

But the rainbows continued to appear, and then this happened. 

My husband’s knee surgeon requires an after surgery blood thinner to prevent blood clots. Normally, he subscribes aspirin. Unfortunately, my husband is allergic to it. The alternative is expensive — to the tune of around $700 for a 30 day supply, which he needs.

 Although the VA will pay for the surgery, they will not pay for the medication. They don’t feel it is needed, contrary to the surgeon’s opinion. However, if that was all the out-of-pocket expense we had to pay, that was pretty small in comparison.

We took the prescription to our Costco pharmacy, and even with our member discount, the medication was still $500. Better, but still a chunk of money. The pharmacist thought they had a coupon for the prescription, which would reduce the cost a little more, and asked us to come back in about 20 minutes while he checked.

We did our shopping. My husband suggested I take our purchases and go back to the truck and wait with Cooper while he picked up the prescription.

After I unloaded the groceries from the cart, I struck up a conversation with the sweet lady parked next to me, also waiting for her husband. (If she lived nearby, I know we’d be good friends, but she and her husband were only passing through. Darn.)

We chatted and chatted and chatted. I was beginning to worry. I tried calling my husband’s cell phone to see what the delay was, but it rang in the console. He'd left the phone in the truck.

I headed into the store to find him and met him at the entrance.

Turns out the reason for the long delay was nothing short of a miracle.

The coupon the pharmacy found was rejected by the pharmaceutical company. Unwilling to let that go, the pharmacist tried several more times. Each one failed. Still not letting it go, he called the company. Through his negotiation, he got the prescription on a free 30 day trial with a promise of a big discount from the company if my husband should need it again. 

I was stunned. The medication was free?

We are so thankful for the dedication of the pharmacist and the compassion of the pharmaceutical company. 

The experience reminded me — again — to leave all things in God’s hands. He was there in my yesterdays. He is here today, and He’s already there tomorrow. Amen.

 

Spiritual Gems

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A few spiritual insights I'd not considered before...

We are but dust, blades of grass, withering and dying, blowing away in the wind. But for Jesus Christ. Through him we have eternal life, no longer susceptible to death. Amen!

Worry means we don’t trust God, doubting He has the power and the will to provide for us. Sorrow is different. We may sorrow through suffering and tribulations and yet still trust God with the outcome.

Yes, we should pray over everything. By not praying, we depend on our strength, not God’s. We know where we should place our hope and trust, and it’s not with ourselves.

The glory of the Lord is like the appearance of a rainbow on a rainy day.

God is like sweet cold water to a parched tongue. He fills our parched souls with compassion, mercy, and hope. Hope is like cold water to the thirsty soul. It revives one caught in the desert of suffering. Be like a drink of cold water to other thirsting souls.

In the story of the woman taken in adultery, the Pharisees knew Jesus had only two ways to respond, and both were wrong. If Jesus excused the woman’s sin, he denied Moses’s law that a woman caught in adultery was to be stoned to death. That choice would mark Him as a false prophet. His second choice was to stone the woman, but then he’d run afoul of Roman law. Only the Romans had the legal right to execute. However, being God, He chose a third option. He turned the situation into an examination of the religious leaders instead of the woman, and they walked away, leaving her untouched.

Evil will continue to grow until Christ comes. Until then, we are to continue in our faith, trusting all things to God.

In turn, do I love God as much as He loves me? Enough to die to self and bend to His will?

We aren’t saved because of our good works, but we are saved to do good works.

Dear Lord, thank you for sharing your wisdom through Scripture and wise teachers. They enrich my life, giving me guidance on how to live in this trouble filled world. Amen. 

 

 

 

 

 

There's No Crying in Baseball

I originally posted this back in 2013. It popped up in my FB memories, and I realized I still have the habit to some extent.

February 23rd, 2013.

This past week was filled with the usual challenges, perceived injustices, and concerns. I responded in my usual manner - the movie scenarios. I mentally created a script, scene by scene, where I was exonerated or the offender saw the light, corrected their misbehavior and apologized. Childish, yes. 

I have grown up some. I never seek revenge in my little scripts. I don't wish the perpetrators ill. No, just a scene wherein we mend the rift -  see how good I am trying to be? (I know, I still have a lot of growing to do and trust me, I am working on it.)

These little self indulgent movies always end in prayer, asking God for help in putting things into the proper perspective and to help me act out of love and compassion rather than from ego. And God usually answers that prayer, sometimes immediately. 

After a series of challenges, blows to my self esteem, I hid out in the bathroom (the only room where I can truly be alone,) and tearfully asked God why I deserved what had just happened. Didn't every one know how hard I tried? Didn't they care how I felt? 

If Only...

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When big events happened, I clung to God’s Word and found strength, comfort, and encouragement. But with smaller stressors, I didn’t apply the same level of faith, especially to job situations. I was too worried about losing the job for one reason or another and stressing over mistakes.  

My life would have been much easier with a lot less stress if I had applied the same faith to these smaller concerns as I did to the bigger ones.

Funny, now that I’m retired and have fewer things to stress over, I find it much easier to give everything to God. Has my faith grown more with life experience? Probably so. More experience has shown me all the ways God kept His promises.

I sound like St. Thomas, wanting to see before I believed.

If only that wasn’t the case…

Thank you, Lord, for being patient with me while I figure it out. Amen. 

Reflections

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I choose to be aware of evil but concentrate on the good I see. “For the rest, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever modest, whatsoever just, whatsoever holy, whatsoever lovely, whatsoever of good fame, if there be any virtue, if any praise of discipline, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8.

 

It amazes me that our all powerful God humbled himself to become one of us, the Creator subjected to his creation. He is so far above us and yet he chose not only to come as a helpless babe, dependent on human parents, but he also died for us, taking our place, burdened by our sins. It’s hard to understand, but I’m thankful all the same.

 

As for prayer, I read an interesting concept. Whatever we are praying for, would Jesus pray for the same thing? If the answer is no, then God’s answer will be the same. Our prayers must be in alignment with God’s will for our life. In essence, everything we do, everything we ask for, should be to glorify God, not to satisfy our desires or insist on our own will. “Not my will, but yours be done. In Jesus’ name I ask. Amen.” The more I pray, the more my thoughts and desires align with God’s plan for my life.

 

“And he turned the storm into a breeze: and its waves were still… He hath turned a wilderness into pools of water, and a dry land into water springs.” Psalm 107:29, 35. He has carried me through every difficult moment of my life, even sending a few miracles, as long as I held onto my faith, trusting him and not my circumstances. 

 

“All things have their season, and in their times all things pass under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1. God uses each season to complete his work in us, for his glory and our good. Amen.

 

 

Life Changing Prayer

Judging from the beauty of our world, heaven must truly be a wonderful place. Besides the beauty, there are no worries about money, health, or death.

Then, if we truly trust God with our lives, we don’t need to worry about those things here, either. But it is hard not to be caught up in world events and concerns, not to mention our personal struggles. Our human bodies and spirits are in constant conflict.

However, through prayer, we can minimize the struggle, conforming our will to God’s. After all, our prayers don’t change Him. He is unchangeable. It is we who must change. Sadly, many, often including me, don’t want to change and stay trapped in their sins and bad choices.

The devil wants us to believe there is happiness in sin and makes it seem attractive, irresistible. And we have all fallen for his lies at one time or another.

But the story doesn’t stop there. Jesus rewrote it, offering salvation to anyone who believes in Him. Not the perfect, for there are none, but we sinners. It is freeing to know that although I am flawed, sinful, and imperfect, God loves me and offers me the reward of heaven for a life lived in faith and trust.

With that thought, each sunrise, each new day, brings another chance to do better, to grow in faith, and takes us one step closer to heaven.

Dear Lord, thank you for this new day and for not giving up on me. Help me not to give up on myself or others. Deepen my prayer life and bring me closer to You. Amen.

Childlike

Image by Sarah Richter from Pixabay

This week in our Bible study, we are exploring the divinity and humanity of Jesus.  The author listed the different viewpoints from the first century after Christ’s death until now. Many struggled with the concept of him being both God and human. I found the different accounts hard to read and skimmed parts.  

I understand the need for deeper study, but the Bible is God’s Word and God said Jesus is both divine and human. If God said it, then it is. End of the discussion for me.

Maybe I don’t have the same curiosity or concerns or doubts as those who question Scripture. Perhaps I’m not enough of a scholar, but in my mind, if it’s true, then there’s nothing to question.

Is this like becoming a child again, as Jesus instructed, believing even if we don’t understand?

St. Paul wrote in Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the substance of things to be hoped for, the evidence of things that appear not.”

Dear Lord, while I may not question Your Word, give me the wisdom to study and learn, so that I might share with others. Jesus spent years teaching his disciples, shouldn’t I sit at Your feet too? After all, study does not mean doubt. Amen.

Do you struggle to understand or just accept it without question?

 

The Divine Mystery

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Our senior Bible study group is reading Know What You Believe by Paul E. Little. It is a thorough treatise on our Christian faith. Many things have resonated, but this especially: 

God the Father originates.

God the Son reveals.

God the Holy Spirit executes. 

Creation comes from the Father, through the Son, by the Holy Spirit. 

This is the best explanation of the Trinity I have read and makes sense of my personal experiences. I pray to God the Father. Through my dreams and visions Jesus reveals God’s love, care, and promises. The Holy Spirit nudges me to act according to God’s will.

I’m awed, stunned to be in a close personal relationship with The Creator of all things.

“What is man that you are mindful of him? or the son of man that thou visit him? You have made him a little less than the angels, you have crowned him with glory and honor.” Psalm 8:5 -6.

Dear Lord, I am overwhelmed but thankful you created me. I vow to spend the rest of my life loving you in return. Amen.   

Two Truths

 

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Pain caused by someone’s wrongdoing is real.

God can redeem the bad with good.

We often try to soothe and comfort the pain in others by emphasizing the positive without acknowledging the pain.

It is unreasonable to think if we have enough faith, we will never experience pain or anguish. The same with spewing some platitudes and expecting the sufferer to suddenly be healed.

I’ve recovered from much of the pain my ex inflicted, except for one. Fear of being too exposed. It’s a form of PTSD. I’ve been conditioned to avoid pain, by hiding, staying quiet, becoming invisible.

It’s a subconscious reaction. I prefer to sit in the back, never in the open. I’m uncomfortable standing in front of a crowd. In a restaurant, unless I’m with others I trust, I want the back booth and sit facing the door. I don’t like large or small spaces. The former is too exposed, the latter is claustrophobic, and I can’t breathe. Every room I enter, I note the exits and form escape routes.

The usual cliches did nothing to eliminate my distress. My faith kept me from despair and gave me the strength to seek help. Professional counseling and the support of family and friends, along with God’s compassion and encouragement, got me through those dark times and help me handle the occasional flash backs.

Because of my experiences, I steer away from trying to point out all the positives about their situation. There will be time for that, but not at first. They need understanding and compassion, acknowledgement and validation of their pain. I do remind them they’ll never be alone in their suffering. That truth has become clichéd, but it’s true. God will be with them in some way, through the kind gesture of a friend, prayers from strangers, a comforting scripture passage, maybe even a miracle — like the repentance of the wrongdoer. But if not, God will help them find healing. I don’t just believe this. I’ve lived it.

Thank you, Lord, for loving me, encouraging me, and understanding my struggle. I pray for those in similar circumstances. Give them Your strength. Encourage them to seek help. Comfort them. Amen.

 

Love and Faith

 

Image by stempow from Pixabay 

My husband has never attended church services. He’s had too many unpleasant experiences with organized faith during his long career in law enforcement, culminating when his late wife’s pastor came to his home asking for more money. The man drove a beautiful brand-new car, lived in a luxurious house on a hillside outside of town, and wore expensive suits. At the time, my husband struggled to pay for his family’s necessities.

When my husband and I were dating, I worried about pursuing a relationship with someone who might not support my faith. Through a strange encounter. (See:     ) I was told to read 1 Peter 3:1. It would answer my question.

 “In like manner also let wives be subject to their husbands: that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word, by the conversation of the wives.”

A few months after we met, we had a long discussion regarding my faith. Although he refused to attend services, he vowed to support my faith, always. He’s never gone back on that promise, even going as far as driving me to and from services after my surgeries.

My husband admitted he believes in God and prays. Every Sunday he asks for a recap of the sermons, but still refused to attend.

To my surprise, he announced he wanted to go with me to church last Sunday. He gets lonely when I’m gone that long. (Forty-minute drive to and from church and then, of course, the service.)

I was just happy he wanted to go. Unfortunately, that Sunday’s sermon was on the Biblical principal of tithing. I don’t need to explain his reaction.

The next day, he brought up the subject of the sermon. He had gone with an open mind and left with a closed one. However, to my surprise, he wants to go again, but only as my escort. (His words). I’m touched, and I know God will use it for His purpose. So, I leave it in His hands.

In my devotions the next day was this blessing in Numbers 6:24–26. “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”

Peace. Peace about our world, our country, my church, my family, and my husband’s reasons for attending Sunday services.

Thank you, Lord, again, for your patience and encouragement. I can’t do this thing called life without you. Amen.

 

 

 

The Reprieve

 

Image by Nicole from Pixabay 

It’s been three years since I’ve been able to travel back to Oregon to visit my family. It seems something always came up. First it was the Covid lockdown, then my husband's and my bouts with the virus, followed by the HVAC debacle, and rising fuel prices. Still, we’ve saved and planned for a trip back this Thanksgiving.  

I’ve kept in touch with Mother through phones calls until the last few months. Then issues with her cell phone service prevented my calls from going through. Once that issue was corrected, I still couldn’t reach Mother. My sister and I finally suspected her dementia has deteriorated to the point she no longer understands how to answer the phone. I’ve sent cards, which I know she treasures, but that’s not the same as hearing each other’s voice.

 My sister suggested we set up video calls for future visits until I can be there. We both felt like idiots for not thinking of it sooner. We scheduled the first call for this last Sunday, but it didn’t happen.

Mother’s care staff found her unresponsive and critically dehydrated. She’s refused to eat and drink for months, requiring heroic efforts by my sister and her care staff to ensure she does. Even so, Mother weighs only 77 lbs., and her doctor has referred her for hospice care. With a DNR, they won’t administer a feeding tube or fluids. So, unless Mother can eat or drink, time is running out.

With all this swirling through my mind, my sister put her phone on speaker so I could talk with Mother. She was coherent enough to understand when I told her I loved her.

My sister called again a few hours later. Mother’s doctor wasn’t sure she would live through the night. I prayed, begging God for reprieve, to see Mother one more time.

The cold I was fighting made it all that much worse. I can’t travel until my symptoms pass, and now my husband is sick as well.

During my morning devotions, I received another call from my sister. Mother has improved. She’s responsive, talking, and able to drink and eat a little. My husband and I should be symptom free and ready to travel in a week. I pray her health holds that long.

Although this is not unexpected, my mother is 89 and has been in declining health for several years, I always thought I’d have a little more time. I’m not beating myself up with guilt. I doubt I could have changed any of the previous circumstances, but this has reminded me nothing is certain in this life. After losing my two husbands, I thought I’d taken that to heart, but with our busy lives, it’s so easy to lose track of time.

Dear Lord, I ask that I have the chance to be with Mother. Let me hold her hand, tell her I love her, kiss her cheek. I ask this, but also bow to Your will. Amen.

Abiding in Love

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As I was making coffee this morning, two different roasts, I reflected on how much my husband’s tastes have changed over the course of our marriage. When we first met, we preferred almost everything the same. Now, we are almost opposites. While mine remained mostly unchanged, his narrowed.

I still prefer mild roast coffee. He now wants medium. We once liked the same half and half creamer. He wants sweet cream. I prefer, and for dietary reasons, more chicken and fish. He wants almost nothing but beef.

His doctor blames the natural course of aging and COVID on the change. Unless it has a strong flavor or seasoning, he can’t taste it.

Figuring out a menu we could both enjoy (and eat) was a challenge at first, but after some thought, I found a solution. For example, when I make our favorite recipe for minestrone soup, instead of adding the meat with the principal ingredients, I cook those separate. We each dish the soup and then add our meat preference. For other meals, we fix two different meats and serve them with the same side dishes.

Even though the compromises mean a little more work, he’s worth it. Our love for each other has only deepened over the years, despite the changes in preferences.

We pepper our day with hugs, kisses, and sweet words. We hold hands while watching movies. When a romantic song plays in a movie or on our playlist, he pulls me into his arms and dances with me around the living room. We cuddle on the porch swing and watch the sunset. I’ll make his coffee. He’ll make mine. He’ll cook his beef while I cook my chicken.

We abide in our love in a similar way to what Jesus told the Apostles, “If you keep my commandments, you shall abide in my love; as I also have kept my Father’s commandments and do abide in his love.”

God commanded, “Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh.” Genisis 2:24, and “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular love his wife as himself: and let the wife fear [respect] her husband.” Ephesians 5:33. 

Charity begins in the home, so does love.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me a wonderful man to be my companion. Help me to always adjust to changes with a mind toward solutions rather than bemoan the differences. Amen. 

I Don't Get It

Photo by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash

For the last week or so, one scripture passage has popped up repeatedly in several of my devotions. God has a message for me, but I don’t get it. It’s right in front of me, but I still don’t see it, much like the Apostles. They were often just as dense, as evidenced in several scriptural passages, especially the following one. 

(Interesting coincidence. When I opened my bible to search for the scripture, it fell open to the exact verses I wanted to use. Hmmm.)

Mark 8:14-21 “And they forgot to take bread; and they had but one loaf with them in the ship. And he charged them, saying, ‘Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, and of the leaven of Herod. And they reasoned among themselves, saying: Because we have no bread. Which Jesus knowing, saith to them: Why do you reason, because you have no bread? Do you not yet know nor understand? Have you still your heart blinded? Having eyes, see you not? And having ears, hear you not? Neither do you remember. When I broke the five loaves among five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments to you up? And they say to him, seven. And he said to them: How do you not yet understand?’”

So, what is it I’m too blind to see this time? If the past is any indication, now that He has my attention, my eyes will be open to whatever it is He wants me to understand. I’ll smack myself and wonder how I missed it. But that is why I need my Father. I cannot figure life out on my own. I need His guidance, instruction, and yes, even discipline. In His compassion, He always follows His instruction (or discipline) with encouragement - and the means to follow His will.

Ah. So that’s the message. I’ve been worried about following God’s command to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked. I have limited resources and physical ability. Add to that, there is little opportunity in the small community where I live, except through the usual charitable donations and church activities. I worried it wasn’t enough.

However, God is using this scripture to remind me to stop worrying. He has it all figured out, both the means and the opportunity. I only need to keep my eyes and heart open and be ready to act.

I get it, this time, but He’ll need to repeat this, and other lessons, numerous times before any of them stick.

Thank you, Lord, for your patience and understanding in giving me encouragement and instruction. Your will be done. Amen.  

 

God Is Already There

Photo by qimono@Pixabay

Every so often, despite my best intensions, I jump on the worry-go-round, envisioning future issues and wondering how I’ll cope. I’ve gotten better in these last few years, foregoing some of my compulsiveness, but I still succumb now and then. This last week was one of them.  

God reminded me in my scripture readings He’s already there. Not only was Psalm 37 listed but also Mark 8: 1-10. Jesus fed four thousand with seven loaves and a few fishes. How many baskets of leftovers did they collect? Seven.

I’ve read that passage many times and never once caught the seven loaves or seven baskets of leftovers. God saved that insight for today when I needed it the most. 

As I have mentioned in prior posts, God uses the numbers three and seven to remind me He will give me the desires of my heart (those that align with His will) and provide everything I need while I walk upon this earth. So, why do I worry?

The devil whispers doubts, spins dark scenarios, and unless I’m careful, I fall into his trap.

God never leaves me there. He reminds me through symbols and scripture that as long as I hold on to my faith, the flames of doubt and fear will never burn me.

Thank you, Lord, for pulling me back from the pit of worry, for reminding me You have already prepared for my future needs — all of them. Amen.