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It’s been three years since I’ve been able to travel back to Oregon to visit my family. It seems something always came up. First it was the Covid lockdown, then my husband's and my bouts with the virus, followed by the HVAC debacle, and rising fuel prices. Still, we’ve saved and planned for a trip back this Thanksgiving.
I’ve kept in touch with Mother through phones calls until
the last few months. Then issues with her cell phone service prevented my calls
from going through. Once that issue was corrected, I still couldn’t reach
Mother. My sister and I finally suspected her dementia has deteriorated to the
point she no longer understands how to answer the phone. I’ve sent cards, which
I know she treasures, but that’s not the same as hearing each other’s voice.
My sister suggested
we set up video calls for future visits until I can be there. We both felt like
idiots for not thinking of it sooner. We scheduled the first call for this last
Sunday, but it didn’t happen.
Mother’s care staff found her unresponsive and critically
dehydrated. She’s refused to eat and drink for months, requiring heroic efforts
by my sister and her care staff to ensure she does. Even so, Mother weighs only
77 lbs., and her doctor has referred her for hospice care. With a DNR, they won’t
administer a feeding tube or fluids. So, unless Mother can eat or drink, time
is running out.
With all this swirling through my mind, my sister put her
phone on speaker so I could talk with Mother. She was coherent enough to understand
when I told her I loved her.
My sister called again a few hours later. Mother’s doctor
wasn’t sure she would live through the night. I prayed, begging God for
reprieve, to see Mother one more time.
The cold I was fighting made it all that much worse. I can’t
travel until my symptoms pass, and now my husband is sick as well.
During my morning devotions, I received another call from
my sister. Mother has improved. She’s responsive, talking, and able to drink and
eat a little. My husband and I should be symptom free and ready to travel in a
week. I pray her health holds that long.
Although this is not unexpected, my mother is 89 and has
been in declining health for several years, I always thought I’d have a little more
time. I’m not beating myself up with guilt. I doubt I could have changed any of
the previous circumstances, but this has reminded me nothing is certain in this
life. After losing my two husbands, I thought I’d taken that to heart, but with
our busy lives, it’s so easy to lose track of time.
Dear Lord, I ask that I have the chance to be with
Mother. Let me hold her hand, tell her I love her, kiss her cheek. I ask this,
but also bow to Your will. Amen.
So sorry she's in that physical state but encouraged that you might get to see her. Mom is wanting to quit eating and drinking she's tired and wants to go Home. We don't know what the delay is, but we trust God and his timing. Just wish we understood.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. Mother has been on a steady decline for several years. It's hard to watch them and even harder to know we have to let go. Prayers for you and your mom.
DeleteHow wonderful that she is on an upswing. I pray you are able to go visit.
ReplyDeleteThank you. In the end, it's up to God. At least I had a chance to speak with her, regardless of how things go from here.
DeleteUpdate on Mother. I spent three days at her bedside. She was unresponsive, but on day one, she reached for my hand and held on for several hours. She passed away early on October 20th. My sister and I made sure she was comfortable and knew she was loved. She's in heaven now with Daddy and my brother Galen along with all the other family that have passed on. <3
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got to see her. I know she is dancing with Jesus now.
DeleteYes. God is good!
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