October 11, 2022

The Reprieve

 

Image by Nicole from Pixabay 

It’s been three years since I’ve been able to travel back to Oregon to visit my family. It seems something always came up. First it was the Covid lockdown, then my husband's and my bouts with the virus, followed by the HVAC debacle, and rising fuel prices. Still, we’ve saved and planned for a trip back this Thanksgiving.  

I’ve kept in touch with Mother through phones calls until the last few months. Then issues with her cell phone service prevented my calls from going through. Once that issue was corrected, I still couldn’t reach Mother. My sister and I finally suspected her dementia has deteriorated to the point she no longer understands how to answer the phone. I’ve sent cards, which I know she treasures, but that’s not the same as hearing each other’s voice.

 My sister suggested we set up video calls for future visits until I can be there. We both felt like idiots for not thinking of it sooner. We scheduled the first call for this last Sunday, but it didn’t happen.

Mother’s care staff found her unresponsive and critically dehydrated. She’s refused to eat and drink for months, requiring heroic efforts by my sister and her care staff to ensure she does. Even so, Mother weighs only 77 lbs., and her doctor has referred her for hospice care. With a DNR, they won’t administer a feeding tube or fluids. So, unless Mother can eat or drink, time is running out.

With all this swirling through my mind, my sister put her phone on speaker so I could talk with Mother. She was coherent enough to understand when I told her I loved her.

My sister called again a few hours later. Mother’s doctor wasn’t sure she would live through the night. I prayed, begging God for reprieve, to see Mother one more time.

The cold I was fighting made it all that much worse. I can’t travel until my symptoms pass, and now my husband is sick as well.

During my morning devotions, I received another call from my sister. Mother has improved. She’s responsive, talking, and able to drink and eat a little. My husband and I should be symptom free and ready to travel in a week. I pray her health holds that long.

Although this is not unexpected, my mother is 89 and has been in declining health for several years, I always thought I’d have a little more time. I’m not beating myself up with guilt. I doubt I could have changed any of the previous circumstances, but this has reminded me nothing is certain in this life. After losing my two husbands, I thought I’d taken that to heart, but with our busy lives, it’s so easy to lose track of time.

Dear Lord, I ask that I have the chance to be with Mother. Let me hold her hand, tell her I love her, kiss her cheek. I ask this, but also bow to Your will. Amen.

7 comments:

  1. So sorry she's in that physical state but encouraged that you might get to see her. Mom is wanting to quit eating and drinking she's tired and wants to go Home. We don't know what the delay is, but we trust God and his timing. Just wish we understood.

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    1. I know what you mean. Mother has been on a steady decline for several years. It's hard to watch them and even harder to know we have to let go. Prayers for you and your mom.

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  2. How wonderful that she is on an upswing. I pray you are able to go visit.

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    1. Thank you. In the end, it's up to God. At least I had a chance to speak with her, regardless of how things go from here.

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  3. Update on Mother. I spent three days at her bedside. She was unresponsive, but on day one, she reached for my hand and held on for several hours. She passed away early on October 20th. My sister and I made sure she was comfortable and knew she was loved. She's in heaven now with Daddy and my brother Galen along with all the other family that have passed on. <3

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