Walking in Faith

 

Image by 은주 송 from Pixabay

All journeys begin with a first step, and another, and another. The farther we travel, the heavier each step becomes unless we have hope of finding resting spots along the way.

We get up each morning and restart our journey. This section might be easier or harder than the one before, but one thing never changes. Our faith will give us the strength we need to face whatever trials await us.

“Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Jeremiah 40:31.

This scripture lifted my spirits in a very personal way. First, I strained the hamstrings on both of my legs during my last move. The simple acts of walking or getting up and down from a chair are difficult. According to my doctor, only physical therapy will heal the injury. With effort and prayer, I’m confident I too will eventually walk and not be weary.

I’ve grown weary in other ways too. My heart longs for a place that I can once again call home, a place with deep connections to family and community.

God answered my prayer with scripture. “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” Jeremiah 29:11.

During my last visit with my daughter to my hometown, friends asked me to breakfast. At first, I hesitated, then decided not to blow off the invitation. I’m so glad I listened to that nudge from the Holy Spirit.

My friends invited one of our former classmates to join us. Ed and I had often crossed paths before I moved out of state, and his kindness always impressed me. Fifty years later, we are both single and at a crossroads in our lives. We both felt an instant connection, which has only intensified with every phone call, text, and visit since that initial meeting.

Now I understand why this scripture kept popping up in so many uncanny ways over the course of this last year. “Then the Lord God said, ‘It’s not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.’” Genesis 2:18.

And so, those who wait for the Lord not only see their strength restored through His grace, but they will also see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living, regardless of age or circumstances.

Thank you, Lord, for blessing this woman with renewed strength and a companion to walk with, side by side, with You. Amen.  

A Weary Soul

Image by Abbat from Pixabay

It hasn’t been an easy life, but it has been a blessed one. However, despite the many miracles and blessings, I can understand how a soul could be weary, ready to move on to something better. A heavenly home with no tears or pain.

I think of my husband, how difficult his life was in the last few years. He almost died with COVID. Although he recovered, his energy level was never the same. Then, he injured his shoulder, requiring steroid shots to make the pain tolerable. Add in extensive arthritis from the physical strain of being a police officer, along with the emotional trauma. His nightmares decreased in the last few years, but were still intense. He underwent a difficult knee replacement surgery five months before being diagnosed with brain cancer. Although he never said much, I can imagine how tired he was of being in pain.  

Now, he’s resting and rejoicing with his loved ones that have passed on before him, as well as being in the presence of our Heavenly Father. I don’t begrudge him that joy, but I ache for his company.

One day, that ache will fade. How it will eventually be filled is in God’s hands. I can say that I’m leaving my future there. I’m too worn out, too tired, too emotionally bankrupt to worry about what comes next. Today’s troubles are plenty, to quote Jesus in his sermon about the lilies of the field. My worry won’t change anything except to add to my misery.

Sunrise brings a new day, and with it, my to-do list. How much I accomplish, and where my energy will come from, God will figure it out. I’m just along for the ride.

Dear Lord, thank you for walking beside me every day, and especially for the days you carried me. Amen. 

Sunrise, Sunset

I sometimes wonder if I am looking at the sunrise or sunset of a life event. Is it just the beginning of the circumstance, or am I looking at the end? 

As with the above photo, only the one taking the picture knows the exact time of day. However as observers, we can look for clues. The lighter blue sky would denote a sunrise, although I have seen some sunsets with similar colors as well. I have also realized that my mood will often dictate my perception. When I am joyful, I would be inclined to declare it a sunrise full of  hope and new expectations. If I am sorrowful, or stressed, I would choose sunset in hopes of being at the end of the event and looking forward to a time of rest.  So  much of life is in this in between stage, not quite sure if our circumstances are really beginning or ending. 

As I have grown in my faith, I have chosen to just sit back and enjoy the scenery without trying to decipher it too much. The above photo is beautiful, regardless of the actual time of day. I can enjoy it for what it is, or over analyze it to death and miss the Giver's intention, a brief moment of unparalleled beauty, peace and tranquility.

The words sunrise/sunset also remind me of the song from the musical Fiddler on the Roof. As the lyrics imply, time moves quickly. One moment we are at the sunrise of our life, youth, and before we know it, we are in the midst of our sunset years. If I dare to reflect back, I see four separate lives evolving from major events.

I do not fully understand the reason behind these circumstances, but I have come to accept them, especially since these experiences drew me closer to God. Over and over He brought me through the flames, holding my hand, protecting me from the heat.

This year, I face only minor changes, a relatively new job (hopefully a long lasting one), and a new home. Interestingly, the new house is situated at an angle where I will be able to observe both the sunrise and the sunset, neither of which I could view from the previous home. Over all our lifestyle will be greatly improved with both the house and the job, so why this introspection tinged with melancholy?

Change. Change, even for betterment is stressful. It is hard to let go of the known for the unknown. And, in some regards, I am weary. Change requires great effort and I am tired, not just from the physical work of moving, but the emotional changes as well. After seeing so many dramatic changes in my life, now even the smaller ones are draining.

Yet, I know I do not need to rely on my own strength. God in his mercy has given me a companion to help shoulder life's responsibilities, and my husband has shouldered the large responsibilities in order to allow me to concentrate on my job, and I am so very thankful. Then, I also have God's promise:

But they that hope in the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall take wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah: 40:31

Amen. Alleluia.