The Answer

 

I'd like to say that prayer is always my first choice when faced with a dilemma, but too often I dwell on the issue before I think to pray.

So, for a little reminder I made the above placard, printed it out, and placed where I can see it throughout the day. 

For as Saint Paul said, "Pray at all times in the Spirit with every kind of prayer and request."

                                                                                                                     Ephesians 6:18

Amen. 

Thinking About Martha

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My meditation from Our Daily Bread resonated with my current situation. “In what area of your life can you ask God to make you more like Jesus?”

My first thought, to give me more of a servant’s heart. Then I realized, being a servant is easier than sitting still.

Since my husband’s knee surgery, I expend a lot of time and energy to keep up our half acre of lawn, flowerbeds, household chores, shopping, and errands. Yes, I’ve organized and spread out my tasks to manageable sections, but if I fall behind, I am compelled to work doubly hard to catch up. This leaves little time to do much else, especially anything that requires sitting for long — like reading Scripture.

That overwhelming sense of duty reminded me of Martha. With guests in the house, she felt it was important to serve rather than sit idle at Jesus’ feet, like Mary. When she complained, Jesus pointed out it was more important to listen to Him than serve.

Ouch.

More than once, God has told me to make my morning devotions a priority. Yet, I slip into Martha mode so easily.

Jesus not only pointed out where our priorities should lay, He also gave us an example by often going off alone to pray. If He could find the time to slip away and pray, then surely I can too.

Jesus, teach me how to still my busy hands and mind long enough to sit at your feet. Amen. 

Controversy and Prayer

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I've been silent concerning a recent world event and the consequent controversy until this morning. This was in my daily devotion.

A reflection of Christ's character from Our Daily Bread.

Love in Action - Romans 12:9-18

"9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[a] Do not be conceited.

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

It's a hard balance to find, loving our neighbors as ourselves while not tolerating or turning a blind eye to sin.

In the end, the best course is prayer. Prayer for those deceived by sin. Prayer for those angered to the point of violence. Prayer for God's guidance in our response. Amen.

When I Walked with Sorrow

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I have to admit, after enduring heartaches, prayer comes more naturally, more of a conversation with my Heavenly Father than prayer. I count my blessings, taking none of them for granted. I rely on God first, rather than myself, turning to prayer before anything else.

Sorrow has also given me more understanding and compassion for those living through similar situations. One devotional suggested those who have gone before should reach back and offer encouragement to those behind them. We didn’t walk those dark paths and deep canyons of heartache alone, and neither will they. Jesus promised he’d never leave us or forsake us.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 emphasizes that everything has its own time appointed by God. A time for joy and a time for sorrow. A time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted. I’m fortunate to be in a time of joy and a time of planting.

I don’t doubt I will walk with sorrow again. But until then, I am thankful for the blessings of this moment.

My heart and prayers go out to those who are experiencing hardship and sorrow. May God bless them with strength. May he send encouragers. Amen.

 

 

Safe

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“In peace will I both lay me down and sleep; For you, Jehovah, alone make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8. 

I know worry is a lack of faith and trust in God’s promises. Once prayed and given to God, I shouldn’t let my concerns keep me up at night. 

God promised us he would save us until it’s time to leave this earth. Even that’s nothing to fear. Well, maybe how we leave is a concern, but we don’t need to worry about that until the time comes. God will send the grace we need to endure whatever form that takes — when it happens. 

“Hearken unto me, O house of Jacob, and all the remnant of the house of Israel, that have been borne by me from their birth, that have been carried from the womb; and even to old age I am he, and even to hoar hairs will I carry you; I have made, and I will bear; yea, I will carry, and will deliver.” Isaiah 46:3-4. 

Reflecting on these scriptures, I realized I applied these promises to me, but had not done so with family and friends. I had it in my head that if I worried enough and prayed enough, I could keep them safe. Isn’t that silly? 

“And which of you, by being anxious, can add a cubit unto [a] the measure of his life? If then ye are not able to do even that which is least, why are ye anxious concerning the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they toil not, neither do they spin; yet I say unto you, Even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God doth so clothe the grass in the field, which to-day is, and to-morrow is cast into the oven; how much more shall he clothe you, O ye of little faith? And seek not ye what ye shall eat, and what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: but your Father knows that ye have need of these things.” Luke 12:25-30. 

If I post these scriptures on my nightstand and read them every morning and night, they will remind me God’s in control over all lives, including mine. 

Dear Lord, you are so good to me, more than I deserve. I ask for the grace to trust you with everything and everyone in my life. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

 

Life Changing Prayer

Judging from the beauty of our world, heaven must truly be a wonderful place. Besides the beauty, there are no worries about money, health, or death.

Then, if we truly trust God with our lives, we don’t need to worry about those things here, either. But it is hard not to be caught up in world events and concerns, not to mention our personal struggles. Our human bodies and spirits are in constant conflict.

However, through prayer, we can minimize the struggle, conforming our will to God’s. After all, our prayers don’t change Him. He is unchangeable. It is we who must change. Sadly, many, often including me, don’t want to change and stay trapped in their sins and bad choices.

The devil wants us to believe there is happiness in sin and makes it seem attractive, irresistible. And we have all fallen for his lies at one time or another.

But the story doesn’t stop there. Jesus rewrote it, offering salvation to anyone who believes in Him. Not the perfect, for there are none, but we sinners. It is freeing to know that although I am flawed, sinful, and imperfect, God loves me and offers me the reward of heaven for a life lived in faith and trust.

With that thought, each sunrise, each new day, brings another chance to do better, to grow in faith, and takes us one step closer to heaven.

Dear Lord, thank you for this new day and for not giving up on me. Help me not to give up on myself or others. Deepen my prayer life and bring me closer to You. Amen.

The Impossible

 

Original Photo by Author

The experts said it was impossible. But it happened.

As many of you know, I was diagnosed with Stage 3b Chronic Kidney disease in December. It’s not curable. Neither is it reversible.

I went on a low-sodium diet in an effort to control the disease and lose weight, hoping the combination would stop its progression.

My doctor ordered more blood tests last Friday. I worried my GFR count had dropped again, putting me closer to the more serious levels. There are only five. The last being renal failure and death.

I prayed and asked others to pray for me.

Sunday morning, my husband opened the front blinds to a beautiful sunrise. “Sweetheart. Come look. The sunrise looks like a rainbow.”

It did. Bands of alternating colors stretched across the eastern sky. I couldn’t help but smile. God has sent rainbows whenever I faced serious health issues, always preceding a miracle. My health was in God’s hands.

Ten minutes later, an email notification came through stating my lab results were available in my patient portal. With shaky fingers, I logged in and read the results.

I’d prayed for my GFR reading to remain stable. It wasn’t. It rose from 44 to 69. Anything 60 and above is normal or in Stage 2. How did my numbers jump 25 points to the positive? Not possible. But there it was. God’s miracle.

Dear Lord, I will strive to honor you with this new life you have so graciously given me. Amen.  

 

Forced Pause

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God sometimes steps in and forces us to pause in our endeavors, often in a manner we’d prefer not to participate in. It can be financial, natural (as in a storm and loss of power) or health. For me, it seems he prefers the latter.

At least this time around, it wasn’t anything serious, just inconvenient.

I discovered a lump on my right thumb. My doctor suspected a cyst and referred me to an orthopedic surgeon.

After palpitating it, he disagreed. “I’m not sure what it is.”

Although cancer of the hand is rare, given my history with the disease, we opted to have the lump surgically removed and biopsied.

What I thought would be a simple minor procedure turned into a full-blown surgery with a gown, cap, IV, and an operating theater. I chose a local rather than anesthesia, but other than being awake, it was not different from the more complicated surgeries I’ve had.

The good news, the lump was just a cyst.

Post-surgery was a surprise. For such a small digit, it sure slowed my activities. I could move the fingers on my right hand, but of course not the bandaged thumb. Turns out that finger is indispensable, difficult to do without. I compensated, like typing with my left hand, but it is a slow process, right along with everything else.

Add in the side effects from the antibiotics and pain meds, and I did little but read, nap, and watch a movie here and there. All because of that one small digit.

While forced to slow down, I realized how wrapped up in activities I had become. My mind had been in a constant whirl of plans and ideas, even to the point of interfering with my concentration with my devotions or prayers. Oops.

Stitches come out tomorrow. The effects of the medications are easing off. I should be able to resume normal activity this next week. If I’m smart, I won’t become so embroiled I lose sight of what is most important. After my experience with the lions, one would think I wouldn’t forget, but I do. The pull of earthly things is strong.

Thank you, Lord, for the reminder to slow down enough to meditate and pray, and not a hurried nod before I dash off to the day’s activities. Thank you for loving me so much. Amen. 

Distractions

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My husband and I’ve been watching The Chosen (at my husband’s request, which is a miracle of its own). In this last segment, the Pharisees are ramping up their hatred for Jesus, concentrating only on the letter of the law and ignoring the miracles. Both my husband and I wonder how these intelligent men could be so blind.

I woke up at 2 am this morning with this question still rolling around in my mind. After tossing and turning for a half hour, I conceded I wasn’t going back to sleep and crawled out of bed. As I sat sipping a glass of water, I realized my own blindness. I’ve been so caught up in the details of this new diet and the impact it has on my life, I had a hard time concentrating on my devotions and Scripture readings, along with other things.  

Jesus said the cares of this world would snatch away our faith if we weren’t careful. It is so easy to get caught up in the here and now, the problems, concerns, and tasks. After all the miracles I’ve witnessed, how could I lose my spiritual sight? And here I was questioning others, blinded by details.

Feeling the need for spiritual nourishment, I picked up a new devotion, Refresh Your Prayers. The reference to Psalm 139: 7-10 caught my attention. The movie segment we watched that night also quoted these verses.

“Whither shall I go from thy spirit? Or whither shall I flee from thy face? If I ascend into heaven, thou art there: if I descend into hell, thou art present. If I take my wings early in the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea: Even there also shall thy hand lead me: and thy right hand shall hold me.”

“If I take wings early in the morning.” I guess 2 am qualifies.

Thank you, Lord, for loving me enough to reach for me in the depths of the night, for drawing my attention back to you and away from so many details, as important as they are. I need balance between the earthly and the spiritual. If anything, I need to lean farther into the latter. A 2 am wake up is a good place to start. It’s quiet. No distractions. It’s only you and me. Amen.

Dark Night

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Since publishing my devotional, I’ve experienced a darkness I can’t explain. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t form words for prayer. Dark thoughts, so unlike me, spiraled through my mind.

Exhaustion finally allowed me to sleep, but it wasn’t restful, and it was peppered with horrible dreams.

It was Sunday. I wanted to go to church, but getting ready seemed an overwhelming chore. After several minutes of oscillating back and forth, I dragged myself into the shower and dressed. Still fighting the urge to climb back under the covers, I drove the twenty miles to church on autopilot. The moment I entered the church, I knew I’d made the right decision.

Through the worship, my emotions lightened some, but the dark persisted, refusing to release me. I knew what the next step had to be. I needed additional prayer.

After the service, I approached the couple sitting in front of me and asked if they would keep me in their prayers. They did more than that. They prayed with me right then. The darkness grayed.

As I exited the sanctuary, my pastor asked me how I was. Something showed on my face because he followed that up with another question. “Is there something I can pray with you about?”

I told him, “Yes, I feel a darkness I can’t explain.”

He prayed with me, and the last vestiges of darkness lifted. I left the church whole, my emotions lighter, happier.

The darkness has not returned.  

I’m not sure why the publication of this book put me under such a vicious attack, except that God may use it to draw more souls to Him. If that’s true, I’ll endure many dark nights. However, I don’t believe that’s God’s intention, or He would not have delivered me through the companionship and prayers of fellow believers.

“Again, I say to you, that if two of you shall consent upon earth, concerning anything whatsoever they shall ask, it shall be done to them by my Father who is in heaven. For where there are two or three gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:18-20.

Amen. 

Prayer

 

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God knows what we need before we ask him. (Matthew 6:8) Then why pray?

For one, Jesus said we should pray always, without ceasing, but this prayer can take many forms. We can start with praise, ask for what we need, and then end with thanksgiving and advanced gratitude.

Yet, I’d like to propose taking this a step further. It can be a conversation, like a child with his or her Father, a dialog based on a close relationship.

Any therapist will tell you, talking out a problem helps us work through emotions and helps us find solutions. Who better to talk with than an all-powerful God? He will not only answer our pleas but also send the Holy Spirit. He will strengthen our trust, fill us with peace, and help us accept God’s answer.

Through this type of prayer our trust, gratitude, and awareness of God’s presence grows.

I keep a running conversation with God going all day. Not always a long discourse, sometimes just a word, or a thought, whatever fits the moment. However, my lengthiest prayer is in the morning.

My husband needs coffee before he’s ready to converse. I, however, wake up as my husband puts it, loaded and ready to go. Thank goodness God doesn’t mind early morning chatter.

Lord, it’s me. First, I just want to say good morning and thank you for watching over me last night. Then, I have a few issues I’d like to discuss and a few things I need your help with. I also ask you to watch over and guide my friends and family, and anyone else you know who needs your help. Yes, I realize that encompasses our entire world, so I pray for them, too.

Thank you, Lord for chatting with me. You always make me feel better after we talk. Amen.

Too Tired to Climb the Mountain

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With the installation of our new HVAC system, reorganizing and purging closets to accommodate less storage, fall yard cleanup, and many other projects, I’ve been too tired and distracted to concentrate on my devotions in the mornings. Guilt piled on more pressure. 

I looked at my hectic life differently after reading this post on Facebook 

 

THIS HIT ME HARD.

Have you ever noticed how in the scriptures men are always going up into the mountains to commune with the Lord?

Yet in the scriptures we hardly ever hear of women going to the mountains. But we know why — right? Because the women were too busy keeping life going. They couldn’t abandon babies, meals, homes, fires, gardens, and a thousand responsibilities to make the climb into the mountains!

I was talking to a friend the other day, saying that as modern woman, I feel like I’m never “free” enough from my responsibilities, never in a quiet enough space I want with God.

Her response floored me, “That is why God comes to women. Men have to climb the mountain to meet God, but God comes to women wherever they are.”

I have been pondering on her words for weeks and have searched my scriptures to see that what she said is true. God does indeed come to women where they are, when they are doing their ordinary, everyday work. He meets them at the wells where they draw water for their families, in their homes, in their kitchens, in their gardens. He comes to them as they sit beside sickbeds, as they give birth, care for the elderly, and perform necessary mourning and burial rites. Even at the empty tomb, Mary was the first to witness Christ’s resurrection. She was there because she was doing the womanly chore of properly preparing Christ’s body for burial. In these seemingly mundane and ordinary tasks, these women of the scriptures found themselves face to face with divinity.

So if — like me — you ever start to bemoan the fact that you don’t have as much time to spend in the mountains with God as you would like. Remember, God comes to women. He knows where we are and the burdens we carry. He sees us, and if we open our eyes and our hearts we will see Him, even in the most ordinary places and in the most ordinary things.

He lives. And he’s using a time such as this to speak to women around the world.

-Heather F

 

Dear Lord, let me remember you hear my prayer, even when my hands and mind are busy with other things. Amen.

The Master of Unexpected Mercies

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I woke up at 3 am with desperate prayers on my lips. I prayed for Afghanistan, for persecuted Christians, for our country and our churches, and for the many victims of Covid-19. It has claimed and changed so many lives.

Jesus told us not to be anxious about anything, but it is hard not to be fearful for those in harm’s way, or not to feel deep sorrow over the loss of a loved one.

How to juggle all this with a loving God? I have no doubt He cares, yet I can’t seem to help being overwhelmed by all that’s going on.

Realizing my early morning wake up was the prompting of the Holy Spirit us to pray, I quite fretting over some lost sleep. Durning my prayers and devotions, another point came to mind.

God is the master of unexpected mercies. When it seems there is no way through a difficulty, He finds a way. We need to watch closely for His next miracle. It might even be today.

Those words reminded me again that being anxious serves no purpose except to keep me in a constant state of turmoil. 

Dear Lord, I pray for unexpected mercies for those in desperate need. Amen.

Don't Give Up

 

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“And whosoever was not found written in the book of life, was cast into the pool of fire.” Revelation 20:15.

That passage made me sweat. How many times have I stumbled and failed? How many battles of self-control have I lost? I gain in one area, only to slip backward in another. At the end of my life, will I be cast into the pool of fire or welcomed into God’s presence?

I pleaded with God. “Don’t give up on me!”

As the words left my lips, I realized my error. It was not God who gave up. It was me. I was the one despairing, ready to give up, and not just on myself. How many times had I thrown up my hands and tried to walk away from difficult people or situations?

True, not everyone will respond to a hand extended in friendship or aide, but I can continue to pray for them, regardless of the apparent results. Same with many circumstances. Several times Jesus told his listeners how powerful prayer is, and how important it is to “pray unceasingly”.

Following along with this thought, I need to include myself in my prayers. I need them as much as my other intentions.  

Thank you, Lord, for being the Good Shepherd who searches for the lost sheep, never giving up until all are tucked safely at home with you. Never let me give up either.  Amen.

Thankful

It isn’t always easy to be thankful when the road gets rough. When illnesses, financial crisis, and death strike, I want to give into doubts, fear, and complaining, but God loves me too much to leave me alone in my misery.

He’s sent strange messengers (The Unexpected Messenger), promises and encouragements in dreams (You’ll Never Look at the Stars Alone) and Scripture. He sent a turkey when I had no money for food (The Miracle Turkey), rainbows reminding me to trust in His promises, unexpected financial boons, confirmations, and even some chastisements (Insurance).

I am unworthy of all this attention. I doubt, argue, and complain. Not as much as I used to, but I haven’t conquered the tendency yet.  

Besides working toward more trust and less doubt, I am trying to be more generous with my money, my time, and my talents. It’s easy to round up my grocery purchase to help with needy families and the local food bank. I enjoy giving away paintings (Paintings), writing, and creating free book covers for other authors (Original Book Cover Designs). They are tiny ways I can give back.

For the rest? I’m leaving that in God’s hands. He knows far more what someone needs than I do. When I pray, I leave the outcome open to His will. As a recent meme stated, I must trust that He will get it right.

 

 

Being Martha

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with my To Do List. It seems there are so many things I need to remember and rather than rely on my memory, I’ve been using Microsoft’s To Do. It’s been a great tool, except rather than releasing my mind to think of other things, the opposite has happened. I’ve added task after task.

Time management isn’t wrong. It is a useful tool until it becomes a fixation. Being a perfectionist, I tend to take it too far. It takes constant diligence to pull back and not let the list rule my life.

I remembered this meditation written by an Anonymous Author.  

Letter From a Friend

I am writing to say how much I care for you. I want you to know me better. When you woke this morning, I exploded a brilliant sunrise through your window, hoping to get your attention. But you didn’t even notice. Later, you were walking with friends, I bathed you in warm sunshine and perfumed the air with flowers. Still you didn’t notice me. So I shouted to you in a thunderstorm and painted a beautiful rainbow. You didn’t even look! Tonight, I spilled moonlight on your face and sent a cool breeze to refresh you as you slept. I watched over you and shared your thoughts, but you were unaware of my presence. I hope you will talk to me soon. When you’re ready, I will be near. I love you very much.

Your Friend,

Jesus

I am not quite this blind yet and pray I never become so engrossed in my tasks I fail to notice God’s hand in my life.

Meditation is a valuable exercise for spiritual growth. I’ve found a beautiful method to introduce a prayerful pause to my day. With practice, I can keep my eyes on God, viewing my tasks as serving others rather than pridefully checking off each accomplishment.

Thank you, Lord, for providing so many beautiful ways to acknowledge your presence in my life. Amen. 

Enjoy! 

Mind Chatter

Dr. Emmett Miller coined the phrase to describe the constant twittering that often plagues us in the night. That endless chatter dredging up things from the distant past or reciting a litany of things we need to accomplish the next day.

Some say it is a sign of creativity or intelligence. A sweet thought, but guilt and regret seem to play a big role, at least for me.

Is the self-incrimination a means to keep me humble and not puffed up? It works, but is it healthy? According to Dr. Emmett Miller, M.D. there should be a balance between admitting mistakes and misjudgments, asking for forgiveness, and feeling good about right choices and accomplishments.

There are many ways of finding that balance: prayer, meditation, spiritual retreats, and guided imagery to mention a few. I’ve used them all at one time or another. They are effective if used regularly, something I am not good about doing when I’m busy. 

I have been good about my prayers and devotions in the mornings since discovering how effective they are to setting a peaceful tone to my day and keeping my blood pressure down, but after I go to bed I have more difficulty. Time to dig out Dr. Miller’s recording, Easing into Sleep, and find the off button to all that late night chatter. 

How about you? Does your mind whirl from ancient memories to your to-do-list? What methods have you used to turn those thoughts off?

Okay, I Admit It. God Knows More than Me.

The other morning, I woke with my usual exuberance and a laundry list of things I wanted to do. I made coffee and grabbed my computer rather than my devotions.

God had other ideas.

My laptop took longer than usual to boot. I did control, alt, delete and restarted it. The second start was even slower.

With no other choice, I picked up my devotions. Good Morning, Lord by Joseph T. Sullivan admonished me to “seek first the Kingdom of God.”

Ouch.

Coincidently, my computer finish booting at the same time I finished my readings and it has not been that slow since. (Eye roll.)

The next morning I spent the first fifteen minutes in quiet prayer and contemplation — and something amazing happened.

My blood pressure has been rising since my cancer diagnosis and surgeries, then add in my irritation over jury duty, and I have considered calling my doctor and requesting a change in my medication.

However, after my meditations, I took my blood pressure. Rather than a high reading, it dropped back to last year's numbers, 118/74. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I was.

Perhaps now, with the added physical proof, I’ll make more of an effort to follow St. Paul’s example, putting God before all things, and being contented with my circumstances, regardless of what they are, a series illness, surgeries, or petty aggravations. 

I'll let you know how it goes. 

How about you? How do you cope with stress? 

Weeds and Dis-ease

I have been scrambling to get everything in order before my surgery. I’ve tended the flowerbeds, finished up landscaping, got caught up on the laundry and housecleaning, shopped for lightweight button up shirts, compression socks, and easy-on-the-tummy foods.

I’m ready, sort of.

Although I am looking forward to getting rid of this rigid rock on my chest (the expander) and moving past all these surgeries, I am worrying over the weeds. My husband will mow the lawn and prune trees and bushes, but will not touch the flowerbeds. How overgrown will they be by the time I am well enough to garden again?

A Pause

Jesus often admonished His disciples for their lack of faith after witnessing so many miracles.  “How do you not yet understand about the lilies of the field, or feeding the five thousand with a few fish and loaves of bread?”

How do we not understand? Because we are weak and frail. The devil uses our weaknesses, stirring up doubts, telling us we are unworthy of God’s good gifts.  We are unworthy, but God still grants them because of His infinite love.  

Streams in the Desert: “Difficulties are sent to reveal what God can do in answer to faith that prays and works.”

Sometimes God sends difficulties not only to strengthen our faith, but also to encourage us to spend more time with Him in prayer for ourselves and for others. Prayer, with God’s intervention, can accomplish more than years of physical struggle. He asks us to pause in our headlong rush to accomplish to sit at His feet and learn.

“Your faith can level forests.” Streams in the Desert.

My upcoming surgery and recuperation period is an opportunity to deepen my prayer life and open myself to more meditation. Who knows what forests He and I can level?

“According to the multitude of my sorrows in my heart, thy comforts have given joy to my soul.” Psalm 94:19.

One thing I have learned, God’s light of hope, comfort, love, and compassion shines brightest in the dark places of our lives.