Okay, I Admit It. God Knows More than Me.

The other morning, I woke with my usual exuberance and a laundry list of things I wanted to do. I made coffee and grabbed my computer rather than my devotions.

God had other ideas.

My laptop took longer than usual to boot. I did control, alt, delete and restarted it. The second start was even slower.

With no other choice, I picked up my devotions. Good Morning, Lord by Joseph T. Sullivan admonished me to “seek first the Kingdom of God.”

Ouch.

Coincidently, my computer finish booting at the same time I finished my readings and it has not been that slow since. (Eye roll.)

The next morning I spent the first fifteen minutes in quiet prayer and contemplation — and something amazing happened.

My blood pressure has been rising since my cancer diagnosis and surgeries, then add in my irritation over jury duty, and I have considered calling my doctor and requesting a change in my medication.

However, after my meditations, I took my blood pressure. Rather than a high reading, it dropped back to last year's numbers, 118/74. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I was.

Perhaps now, with the added physical proof, I’ll make more of an effort to follow St. Paul’s example, putting God before all things, and being contented with my circumstances, regardless of what they are, a series illness, surgeries, or petty aggravations. 

I'll let you know how it goes. 

How about you? How do you cope with stress? 

Beside Peaceful Waters

Recent events in our country brought these words to mind: Luke 12: 51-53:  “Think ye that I come to bring peace on earth? I tell you no, but separation. For there shall be from henceforth five in one house divided: three against two, and two against three. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against his father, the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother, the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.” 

As the scripture above states, Jesus didn’t come to bring peace to the world, but peace to our hearts, peace to those of goodwill, not peace to all men. Peace comes from our faith and commitment to His will, not ours. Those who desire their own will, will not have peace. 

Our current political and social climate illustrates this all too plainly. How can we live peaceful lives in all this chaos? History teaches us that our current situation is not unusual, or uncommon. It has been repeated over and over again through the centuries with every civilization. We of course hoped ours would be different, but how could that be when men’s hearts have not changed? 

For a time, our country was the exception, until people forgot the premises upon which this country was founded, and personal gain once again took precedence in people’s hearts and minds. We celebrate individualism to the point that the individual is all that matters, to the point of decimating the larger population, as in these new laws regarding transgender use of public services. In other areas, the population decimates the individual, as in abortions. 

We cannot change the world, only ourselves. Imagine thousands turning their hearts back to God, as individuals. Imagine thousands no longer spewing hate, vengeance, violence. I am afraid all we can do is imagine. For in God’s own words, this will not happen upon this earth until the world, as we understand it, ceases to exist and we enter into Christ’s second coming. 

However, God does promise us peace in our hearts, when we do his will regardless of the chaos on the outside. This is the peace the martyrs experienced, enabling them to endure the unthinkable. I doubt God will call me to be a martyr in the physical sense, but I can see emotional suffering if I allow our current situation to govern all my thoughts. 

Since retirement, I do have the option of stepping away from the world more often. I can sit beside the gurgling stream and contemplate God’s word. I can pray more often. I can offer Gods’ words through my writing to those who might need those exact words, at that exact moment. I can find peace easier, if I choose not to rely on man’s word, but on God’s alone. 

Is that easy? Absolutely not. Is it worth the struggle? Absolutely yes. How do we even begin? From Jesus’ own words, through constant prayer. It takes effort, diligence, and sometimes, a few moments beside those peaceful waters wherever we can find them. I am blessed. I have peaceful waters just around the corner from our home, along our walking path. However, should that be taken from me, with practice, I can also find peaceful waters in my heart through scripture and prayer, in that moment when I say, “Your will, not mine.”

Who's Pulling Who?

In one of Richard Rohr's daily meditations, he makes this observation: As soon as you make prayer a way to get something, you’re not moving into a new state of consciousness. It's the same old consciousness. “How can I get God to do what I want God to do?” It's the egocentric self still deciding what it needs, but now often trying to manipulate God too.

This is one reason religion is in such desperate straits today. It really isn't transforming people, but leaving them in their separated and egocentric state. It pulls God inside of my agenda instead of letting God pull me inside of his. This is still the small old self at work. What the Gospel is talking about is the emergence of “a whole new creation” and a “new mind,” as Paul variously calls it.

That really hit hard. I do spend too much of my prayer time in negotiation. And, Richard Rohr is right. There are a great number of Christians who believe that because they believe, they will gain prosperity, health and every worldly pleasure. That is a great deception. We do not exist to gain this world. We exist to be in spiritual union with the Divine.  

By the world's standards, spending time in a contemplative state is not considered productive. It doesn't minimize our To Do List, it doesn't accomplish anything, except open our eyes to more closely see the world as God does, a mixture of the beautiful and the ugly, the joyful and the sorrowful, neither entirely evil or entirely good. 

In order to do that, I must let go of my agenda, even things I think are good in God's eyes. I  must step back from the world and get rid of the To Do list, replacing it with a To Be list. This becoming will change my  thoughts and the good deeds and the compassion for others will automatically emerge from that union.

I am refocusing my early morning devotions from my usual I Want/ I Need Prayer. God already knows what I need. Rather, I will start my prayer time with being thankful for what I already have instead of concentrating on what I don't have.  From this state of thankfulness, I will enter into a contemplative reading of His Word.   With a more open, non-critical, judgmental mind,  my self centered prayer will become a Seeing Prayer, and a closer union with God. 

This New Creation will have a more open mind with which to hear, and follow, that  inner voice nudging me to take seemingly trivial side trips which upset my best laid plans, but later prove to be the most powerful moments of my life. 

Dear Lord, lead me to see the world, and myself, as you do, and not through my judgments or perceived needs.  Amen.