Running Ahead

Photo by Taryn Elliott from Pexels

 “In what circumstances have you ‘run ahead of God?’” The question in my devotion, Our Daily Bread, gave me pause. What does it mean to “run ahead of God, and if I’ve done it, when?”

Running ahead of God probably means to take matters into my own hands rather than wait for God’s answer. In that light, let me count the ways.

I’d rather believe I’m patient, waiting until I am certain I am following God’s will before I act, but if I’m honest, I have to say not as much as I should. There are many times I moved forward in haste, fixing things in the way I saw fit, only to find out my way turned into an even bigger disaster. I try to blame all the messes I create on my alter ego, Blondie, but I realize where the blame lies. In fact, that’s where self-control comes in, restraining my impulses to “run ahead” before I’ve considered all the potential outcomes.

As I’ve aged and dealt with more disasters and circumstances beyond my control, I’ve learned to hold back a little more. True, much of my restraint is more from being overwhelmed than patient, but that counts. Recognizing I’m in over my head is a step in the right direction. Now, to pair that with the humility to wait for God’s answer and accepting the fact He sometimes uses suffering as a benefit. Scripture and common sense tell me to pray, meditate, and seek wise counsel, but that takes time when I’d rather just jump in and do something, especially if a loved one is suffering. That must be exactly what the author in the devotion meant as “running ahead of God”.

When I reflect on all the difficult moments of my life, there were clear signals indicating what I should do, act or stand still, as long as I set my pride and impatience aside. Perhaps those two things cause most of my confusion. I’ll have to work on that.

Dear Lord, help me stay close to you, power walking beside you rather than running ahead with impatience — and right into trouble. Amen.

Conflicts, Disagreements, and Wisdom

“A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim.”  Maya Angelou.

This quote resounded deeply with me this week.  A family member consistently posts hateful memes on social media.  Everyone has a right to their opinions and beliefs, and I respect that. However, “Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins.”

These memes were intended to inflict pain and incite hatred. I had enough and posted a rebuttal. I did not name the person, but pleaded for respect for others, myself included. I added the fact Martin Luther King and Gandhi changed the world without promoting violence and hate.  

I rarely have outbursts like that, and it shocked everyone, but it worked. The family member agreed it was time to end the hatred and post positive, uplifting things. Isn’t that really what social media is for? To be sociable? I truly believe there are other forums better suited for political debate. 

I have friends both liberal and conservative, non-Christian and Christian, non-white, gay and straight. It doesn’t matter as long as their fists don’t connect with anyone else’s nose, including mine. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, just as I don’t agree with everyone either. That's okay. Diversity is part of God's design and we should celebrate it rather than disparage it. 

When do we turn the other cheek? When do we stand up for what we consider is right? I believe it depends on our motives. Are we standing up only for personal satisfaction, pushing our agenda on someone else, or do we see an injustice that needs to be addressed? Even so, the latter should not be done through violence to others and we have a right not to become victims.

Another quote helped put things into more perspective. “You can focus on the person who hurt you, or the God who healed you.” Christine Caine.

I stood up for what I felt was right, and now it’s time to forgive and let it go.

I pray for all who are hurting and suffering in this broken world. I pray they open their hearts and minds to God’s love and healing. I pray for an end to hate and violence in word and deed. Amen.  

If I Knew Then What I Know Now...

Some have posed the question, “If you could go back to high school, would you?” 

For myself, no.  I don’t want to go back and live my life over. Once is enough. 

Another popular question, “If you could give advice to your younger self, what would it be?”

I would tell my younger self, “Don’t be anxious over things not in your control. Everything will work out one way or the other. If it is the other, you’ll survive.” 

Oh, but would she listen, even to that? I doubt it.

I have let go most of my worries only because I have walked through the fires and experienced God’s miracles. Had I not suffered and God had not rescued me, would my faith have grown? Would I be able to give my troubles to God and leave them there, along with the anxiety and fear? 

I still fall now and then into that dark abyss, but not as often or for as long. Most dismal circumstances can lead to immense good. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. And I believe. 

No wonder Jesus said, “Blessed are they who have not seen, and have believed.” 

"So, my younger self, don’t fret. Don’t worry. Trust God and do the best you can with the knowledge and experience you have, and most of all, forgive. Forgive others and then forgive yourself. God has, and you should too."

Oh Discipline, Where Art Thou?

It’s 5:44 in the morning. It’s still night outside. The stars are bright. The moon has gone to bed. My husband and Scout are still sleeping. The fireplace is lit. The coffee brewed and my devotions read. I'm now making plans for the day, once again vowing to be more disciplined in my diet, exercise, and other personal choices.

Will it be like yesterday, a day filled with good intentions partially fulfilled? My plan of using diet "money" has helped, some. I managed to stay within my calorie count until several hours after dinner. Then a gnawing, empty feeling struck, demanding I eat something before bed.

Where did that come from? I never used to snack after dinner.

The experts say it takes thirty days to implement a life change. So far, I haven’t made three days. However, I did better yesterday than the day before, so maybe today will be better than yesterday. It won't get any better if I give up, so I must renew my resolve every single day, or every hour if I must. 

I am not alone in my struggles. My devotions today quoted St. Paul. “For the good which I will, I do not; but the evil which I will not, that I do.” Romans 7:19.

Perhaps today I will do more good than evil, to both my body and my soul. After all, miracles do happen.

Searching for My Carmel-by-the-Sea

My husband wants to take me to Carmel-by-the-Sea on a future vacation. It sounds wonderful, with panoramic ocean views, quaint shops, fabulous restaurants, and elegant inns. Let’s say I liked the idea. It sounds like a place that would be hard to leave – until the money ran out.

The travel brochures describes it as a place of perfection, a place where everyone is polite and gracious, a place where the ugliness of the rest of the world doesn’t exist. That might be the true for tourists, but the residents deal with all the same problems the rest of us do. They just get to do it in a beautiful place.

We can chose to make our lives more beautiful, regardless of whether we live in a resort town or not, and the means to do this is free: the Serenity Prayer.

I have this recorded on a CD by Dr. Emmett Miller (Serenity Prayer) with a thirty-minute drive time meditation. What could be a better time to practice serenity than during my morning commute?