No Task Too Great…

 

Orignal Photo by Author

I stood at the kitchen window watching the sunrise. How many times would I stand in a strange home waiting for coffee to brew? Would I still be living here in a year, or somewhere else? What would my life be like in a year?

More pressing than those questions, after running on adrenaline since the first of January, my body finally cried, “Enough!” I crashed and slept for ten hours. I’m better, but that was a warning. I can’t keep up this pace.

 I recognize that being busy is my way of handling stress, but it isn’t healthy for long periods. I have to face this new life without the distraction of tasks and settle into a new routine. Somehow.

But it’s hard.

This house isn’t home. The view from my kitchen is different. The neighborhood and town are strange. Nothing is familiar. My life seems like an extended vacation without my husband.

However, Jesus said, “I will never leave or forsake you.” He promised I’d never look at the stars alone. I have Cooper, but will there be someone else? New friends? Family, certainly.

At some point, I’ll adjust. I have in the past and see no reason I won’t now. That doesn’t mitigate the current struggle, but it eases some of the uncertainty. After all, Jesus also said, “For mortals it is impossible, but not for [or with] God; for [with] God all things are possible.” Mark 10:27.

I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I’m trusting, taking courage, and waiting for God to answer my next step. Amen.

 

Well, That Didn't Go As Planned

I originally posted this in June of 2017, but it popped up today when looking for a different post. It seems I needed the reminder as I have again fallen into the get-everything-done-on-my-to-do list mode. I'm not as bad as I used to be, but I've been pushing myself and feeling a little exasperated when life preempts my plans. Seems God has decided I needed this reminder.  

___________________________________________

I outlined a new time management plan I hoped would incorporate more exercise and writing opportunities into my day. It worked — for three days. 

As John Lennon said, “Life happens while you’re busy making other plans.” 

We took an unplanned trip to celebrate our 15^th wedding anniversary. Those four days eradicated my first week’s effort to follow my plan. Do I regret going? No. However, I lost my initial drive and it was rough getting back into it. 

I had the rhythm down again when we put an offer on a house in another city and listed ours for sale. There went any hope of a structured schedule. Am I sorry we made the decision? No. It’s exciting, even if it wreaks havoc on my time management scheme.  

I think there is a repeated lesson here, one I don’t seem to grasp for long before I need a reminder that God is the only constant in this world and my relation to Him should be my top priority. When I stand before Him for my final judgement, I won’t be too worried about any of my plans and schemes except those that were in accordance to His will.

Was I kind to others? Did I put Him before everything else? Did I use my talents wisely?

As for the plan, it’s not a bad idea, but I must expect the occasional derailing and not let guilt eat away my peace of mind. I need to flow along with the interruptions when they happen. That’s life, is it not?

It's Finally Happened

Photo by RitaE from Pixabay

This week I realized I can no longer remember when I last changed the sheets on the bed or descaled the coffee pot. I used to keep all that straight without writing having to write it down. Is it age related or the result of being retired and no longer adhering to any kind of schedule?

My self-control has gone the same way as my memory, particularly with my diet. In that regard I need accountability, so back to the old-fashioned food log. Experts say that is the most reliable way to watch the calories. I know they are right, but I didn’t want to bother. My last weigh-in tells me I’d better do something.

In some ways, this is the best time of my life, and yet other things have slipped. But I guess that’s life. It’s never perfect.

Armed with my check lists and food log I’ve gained some control. Keeping it simple ensures I’ll stick to it. I like the fact I no longer need to commit everything to memory and worry about forgetting something, but I miss the days when it was all automatic, with no effort involved.

I also miss being able to marathon house or yardwork and afterward do anything else I wanted. Now, I need to parcel out my tasks or deal with exhaustion and low blood sugar.

But since I’ll never see twenty again, or even sixty for that matter, I must adjust, adapt, and go on. That’s okay because I still have a life, one not complicated at the moment by anything other than a failing memory and a lack of self-control.

Could be much worse, and I’ve been there.

So, no complaints, just the hard admission that age is catching up, and I have no control over it, except how I react.

Dear Lord, thank you for giving me life, and help me come to terms with its flaws and challenges. Amen.

The Broken Record

Our minds are wired to repeat the same messages, usually negative ones, like the cliched broken record. 

When I retired, I was sure that little things would not bother me. After all the years of stress over a job, life would be easier. However, thanks to that broken record with its tired old messages, the small stuff takes on more importance.

How can I circumvent this repetition? Richard Rohr suggests contemplative prayer. His books and devotional studies supply step-by-step models. (See: Center for Action and Contemplation). He stresses the need to be open-minded, non-judgmental, accepting people and circumstances for what they are.

In other words, what is, is. I can’t change anything or anyone with my will alone no matter how much I fret, wring my hands, or pray desperate Please-God-Change-Them Prayer. God can, but that is up to Him.

If I let God pick my battles, I’ll always be on the right side, expending my energies for creativity, like writing and art.
With prayer and practice, I can turn off the tired old songs, or at least interrupt them for longer periods. Better yet, I can put on a different record, like The Serenity Prayer.

Switching records now.

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.
Amen

Who Doesn't Like October?

October is one of the most popular months. Who does not like the vivid array of colors, the cooler days, pumpkins, and harvest moons? Then, there are the corn mazes, fresh pressed apple cider, and harvest parties. 

This month is the prelude to the onslaught of the holidays, a pause between summer and winter. We catch our breath before gearing up for the busier season to follow. 

Change. Seasons change. Weather changes and we change. It is inevitable. Some we welcome, like the seasons, others we fight. This struggle does not delay or alter the change. It only causes more stress and conflict, fighting a battle we cannot win.

Since entering the Golden Years, I have seen many changes. The world is certainly not the same as it was in my childhood. Some changes were for the better, others not. The political and spiritual unrest is disheartening as well as frightening. Then, there are the more pronounced changes in my physical appearance. I may be able to skip the news for several days, but my body continues to remind me of my age. 

I decided after some careful reflection, (pun intended), not to worry about my physical changes. I am aging, and there is not any cosmetic trick, or surgery, that will disguise it. It might camouflage it to some degree, but we’ve all seen the sad sight of women who go to extremes in their search for eternal youth. The result is rarely what they hoped. At this age, less is definitely more, and it is better to accept the changes and move on to things that are more important. 

For me, I would rather count my blessings than bemoan things I cannot change or control. For a perfectionist, that’s the same as an alcoholic admitting they have a drinking problem. Perhaps I had to live the changes before I understood how little control I have. I suppose experience does give the age a little more wisdom than youth, if we choose to learn from them rather than fight against them. 

And so, I look forward to this new season and plan to enjoy each moment. Winter storms will be here soon enough, but God is already there. With Him walking beside me, I can accept the changes in the weather, and in my life, with some dignity and peace. After all, letting go, accepting what I cannot change, and giving it to God, is the wisest of all choices.  

Is Home truly where the heart is?

What if your heart is in two different places? I love our home here in Idaho. The house has many aesthetic features I never thought I’d own and the Treasure Valley is beautiful as well. Boise is known as The City of Trees and is edged by the Boise and the Owyhee Mountains. The climate is mild, relatively speaking for a northwestern area. We have almost two hundred days of sunshine a year. Considering we do have three months of winter, that’s a lot of sunshine.

The other plus, Idaho doesn’t harbor painful memories as my hometown in Oregon does. I don’t drive around a corner and get slapped in the face by a reminder of one of many heartaches. Both the climate and the environment is healthier for me here in the Treasure Valley of Idaho.

However, my closest friends and family are in Oregon, a seven-hour drive through deserts and mountains without the benefit of a freeway and very few towns. The distance is marked in hours from one landmark to another. It is a trip no one takes on a regularly, only once a year, maybe twice at best.

In Time

Based on my personal experience, I believe there are several factors involved in the timing of God’s answers. My first understanding of God's timing came in in a dream (The Bus). Other life experiences added to that lesson and I came to the following conclusions. 

First, there may be others in involved in our request, and since each of us is free to accept God’s will, or reject it, the prayer might not be answered, or it may take a long time for the other heart to soften and finally relinquish their will to His. God is patient. He’ll wait. Then, we must wait.

The other option, we may be the stumbling block. Maybe we aren’t ready and God in His wisdom will not grant a prayer we aren’t capable of handling. He’ll send difficulties and trials, conditioning us until we are ready.

Martha, Don't Look!

Where does the time go? Every day I promise myself to step back, take a deep breath and enjoy my cup of coffee a bit longer, spend more time in conversation with my husband, talk more often to friends and family, and take time to read a little more, but it seems I am always racing the clock.

In my morning devotions, the scripture detailed how often Jesus stepped out alone into the desert to pray. We Martha's have a hard time relating to that. What? Just drop everything and go off by ourselves? Who has the time to do that? Our world would just fall apart, wouldn't it?

Who would do all the dishes, the laundry, cook, clean, pay bills, and run errands while we were off selfishly indulging in quiet time? We'd be so far behind on our To-Do-List we'd never catch up, right?

 Maybe not. What if we actually allowed someone else to help - without criticizing how they did it?

I received a personal lesson in this when my husband retired. My sweetheart offered to take over all the household chores - all of them - until I could retire. You bet I took him up on that, until -

Yes.  I noticed things.