Reflections

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Several things have garnered my attention recently.

First, my son and daughter-in-law were evacuated from their home because of encroaching wildfires. We spent several anxious days waiting to hear if the house survived. Thank God, it did.

Thinking of their plight, I looked around my home. If I only had minutes to evacuate, what would I take with me? Clothes, old photos, important papers, and what else? We have some expensive art prints, my own paintings, and many collector’s items. We just purchased a new kitchen appliance, one I’ve wanted for a long time. It would be hard to leave it all behind.

My answer to this dilemma was in my devotions. The title in Good Morning, Lord by Joseph T. Sullivan: Can’t Live Without. “You can live without anything but God.”

Those simple words put everything into perspective.

My thoughts then fluttered to the violence occurring across our nation. I played out scenarios of what I would do or say to these hateful crowds. (If I dared.)

I wasn’t surprised when I opened my daily devotions in Living Faith. “How many times must I forgive my brother? Seventy times seven. Forgive, as you have been forgiven, free yourself from anguish.”

Rather than wishing revenge, what am I doing to help? Are my prayers enough? Should I become some sort of activist? But for which organization and where?

My morning devotions again told me the answer. The title in Our Daily Bread: Scaling. “Based on where you are, give generously.”

Don’t compare your giving to someone else’s. Give cheerfully where and how you can. Like rounding up my grocery tab to the nearest dollar and donating to the local food bank. Give a smaller amount to my church every Sunday rather than waiting to give a larger sum all at once. Help a neighbor without worrying about what they might do for me in return. Clean up after my husband without grumbling.

Most of all, I can pray for our country, my family, friends, and for those I disagree with. Not out of duty, but out of charity, love, hope, and faith.

“So faith, hope, love remain, these three, but the greatest of these is charity.” 1 Corinthians 12:31-13:13.

Thank you, Lord, for your guidance. You always know what I need at the exact moment I need it. Amen.

I'm Not God, But I Often Think I Am

In Ezekiel 28:1 the prophet admonishes the king for making himself a God, relying on his own wisdom and power, acting without waiting for the discernment of God’s will. I’d like to say I never do that, but I do, and often. I ask for God’s blessing to do what I deem best and plunge ahead, not waiting for his answer. Other times, I follow his will, but out of my own desires, not his.

I also make myself a god when I judge others, playing the Pharisee to the tax collector, extolling my virtues over theirs. If I’d never act the way they do, then they must be wrong. 

What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

Finally, after 30 plus, and almost another 30 plus years, I  know what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a Kingdom Person. 

Richard Rohr in today's daily meditation from describes a  Kingdom Person  as a surrendered, trustful person who has given control to Another, which paradoxically allows them to calmly be in control. This gives them the ability, and freedom, to do what they need to do with joy. This behavior encompasses the "best of the conservative and the best of the progressive types." (For more go to: The Center for Action and Contemplation )

I want to be like that, to live in peace, trusting God in every situation, not necessarily physically happy, but joyful in spirit. As St. Paul so eloquently stated in his epistles, what others find as gain, he considered loss. He suffered incredible physical suffering, eventually dying as a martyr, but in his eyes he gained everything. 

For too much of my life, I have been concerned with external beauty,obsessing about numbers on the scale, and the size of clothes I wore, how many of the newest gadgets I possessed, and  how much financial security I acquired. 

Granted, I need to follow healthy practices, taking care of this earthy body God gave me to use, and it isn't a sin to have possessions or some savings, but they should not be my life's focus. Our society bombards our senses with its models of  beauty and security and it is a constant battle not to be sucked in, relinquishing what I know to be better truths. 

By becoming a Kingdom Person my focus changes from physical comfort to matters of the heart, giving control to Another and  finally gaining the peace and joy St. Paul exhibited even in the worst circumstances, and I finally understand what I want to be when I grow up.