Surrender

 

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

The word surrender has cropped up several times in various ways over this last week. I believe God is giving me a New Year’s resolution.

All of these popped up this morning. 

Surrendering to God’s will, regardless of the situation, is a challenge. After all, we would have to give up our perception of control, and that's not easy. 

A friend once told me she admired how well I handled my tragedies and losses. My reply, “I had no choice.” It was true. However, in these situations, rather than wallow in self-pity, I surrendered it all to God, and things worked out better than I imagined. But not at first. I still had to deal with the physical and emotional aspects of the circumstances. Only my faith, hope of a better future, eased the pain.   

Worrying won’t change the future. Either it will happen, or it won’t. And if it does, then God will help me through it, just as He as in the past.

In Our Daily Bread for, Bill Crowder quoted theologian Jürgen Moltmann’s definition of optimism and hope from A Theology of Hope. “Optimism is based on the circumstances of the moment, but hope is rooted in God’s faithfulness — regardless of our situation.”

So Lord, I surrender my life to Your will. I’ll let you handle it, even if it’s not in the way I want. You know what I need. I also commit my loved ones into Your hands. You know their needs as well. And Lord, I pray for all those facing difficult times. Be with them. Amen.

 

Holding Tighter or Letting Go?

“The first author of beauty made all things,” Wisdom 13:3.  Author, that caught my attention. This theme continued in the rest of my devotions. 

Psalm 19: “There are no speeches nor languages, where their voices are not heard. Their sound has gone forth into all the earth: and their words unto the ends of the world.” Verses 4 and 5.

What author doesn’t hope that will happen to them? 

Then came the words, “Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life, will save it.” Luke 17:33

Eek! 

I am wallowing in grand dreams of becoming a best-selling author, and God brings me up short.

In my devotion, Living Faith, Author Amy Welborn, asked how we intend to lose our lives for God. This isn’t meant in the literal sense, as in physically dying, but in what we are asked to lose in order to follow God’s plan for our life.

Writing takes tremendous sacrifice. We spend hours in solitary confinement sitting at a desk with pen and paper, laptop, or computer. One of my former coworkers, a traditionally published author, with looming deadlines couldn’t participate in the company Christmas party or attend her grandchildren’s Christmas pageants. Even Indie authors face similar sacrifices, often faced with unpleasant choices without happy solutions.

There are more than physical losses. We bare our souls on each page, letting go of our privacy, revealing our innermost thoughts, desires, and fears. We could hold them tight, and let our stories suffer, but by letting go, our words (hopefully) encourage, inspire, or entertain. Lightening another’s burden by pulling them away from their troubles for a short time is as important as writing the next literary classic, maybe even more so. When overwhelmed with insurmountable problems, who wants to read War and Peace? (No offense intended to that great work or its author.)

No. I think most will reach for something that will make them feel better, either by telling them they are not alone, they are loved, they are good enough, or by offering them a reason to laugh.

A noble cause, worth the sacrifice, which brings us right back to letting go of ourselves and other things and be the storyteller God calls us to be, holding tight to our faith, our dedication, and our promise to obey.

Stay or Leave?

Photo by nenetus at Freedigital Photos.net           

Many of us face that question at some point in our lives. The bad boss, the abusive spouse, the not-so-good friend, the negative church or social group, how long do we stay? When is it time to shake the dust off our shoes and move on? Scripture states after taking a great deal of verbal abuse, Paul and Barnabas “shook the dust from their feet in protest” and left the city. Acts 13:51.

How do we balance our Christian directive to love our enemies and discern when it is time to leave? I can’t speak for others, only for myself, but I personally believe it’s time to leave when it becomes obvious the other person does not intend to change and will continue the abuse. 

It takes me a long time to give up on a relationship, too long. I gave seven years to my ex-husband, leaving only when he held a pillow over my face until I quit struggling. I should have left long before that, but I believed it was “until death do us part” ― regardless.

When my ex fell asleep, I took our two boys and ran from the house.

The Merry Go Round

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Regardless of my good intentions I seem to stay on the merry go round of the same routine, the same issues and the same responses. The rude driver still elicits irritation and a sense of self righteous affliction. How dare he/she insinuate I am a slow, incompetent driver. And let’s not forget the Slow Sally going ten miles or more under the speed limit. I am ashamed to admit I become the rude driver and barrel around them, just to prove my point. Why?

Add an issue at work and the merry go round gains speed and I find myself locked in place by centrifugal force.

I tried using mediation CD's during my commute, soothing music or nature sounds. It sort of worked. What would work is a change of attitude, a change in my thought patterns. Nothing new there, yet why is it so hard to implement and then stick to it? I found the answer in my devotions. No surprise there.

I've Figure It Out

Worry is relentless, moving through my life like a raging storm, devouring everything in its path, leaving horrendous devastation behind. I think I finally figured out why I continue to feed its voracious appetite — control.

Somewhere, I picked up two damaging ideas. The first, if you care about someone or something, you will worry over its wellbeing. If you don’t worry and fret, you don’t love. The second, by worrying, fretting, and pacing, I will somehow maintain control over the situation. If I just let go, I lose all chance of control. I am just debris blown about wherever the wind takes me, without direction or purpose. That idea brings on panic attacks and nightmares.

I know I have no control over anything except my reaction. Even those are sometimes hard to control, but to let go is unthinkable despite my vows to do so.

But knowing the cause is half the battle. When worries start burrowing into my thoughts, I need to remind myself that agonizing will not change the outcome, only erode this moment. Letting go doesn’t mean I don’t care, only letting go of the struggle.

I can weep with the grieving, offer help to those in need wherever and however I can, pray, and let God manage the outcomes.   

I don’t want control.

There will be unpleasantness. There will be pain, but it will be fleeting. I once told a good friend going through a very hard time, “Challenges are like a night at a bad hotel. It is unpleasant, but it will pass.” I need to listen to my own advice.

Life isn’t all sorrow. Good memories are mixed with the unpleasant. My future will be the same, a mixture. In addition, God has promised we “will see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living. We must expect the Lord, do manfully, and let our hearts take courage, and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27: 13-14.

It is the waiting that is so hard. However, I hope I’m getting better at it.