I've Figure It Out

Worry. It is relentless, moving through my life like a raging storm, devouring every thing in its path, leaving horrendous devastation behind. I think I finally figured out why I continue to feed its voracious appetite  - control.

Somewhere during the course of my life I picked up two damaging ideas. The first, if you truly care about some one or some thing, you will worry over its well being. If you don't worry and fret, you don't love. The second, by worrying, fretting and pacing, I will some how maintain control over the situation. If I just let go, I let go all chance of control. Without control, I am just a bit of debris blown about wherever the wind takes me, without direction or purpose, with no control. That idea brings on panic attacks and nightmares, even profuse sweating.

We all know, intellectually, we have no control over anything except our reactions. Even those are sometimes hard to control, but, to let go, really let go, is unthinkable in spite of what we proclaim.

So, as they say, knowing the cause is half the battle. When the worry worms start burrowing, I need to remind myself that agonizing isn't going to change the outcome. All it will do is erode this moment, and as hard as it is, letting go isn't letting go of caring, it is letting go of the struggle, the need to control.

I can weep with those weeping.  I can pray for those in need, and then I can place those concerns in His hands and let them go - let the agony of them go, not the compassion or concern, let go of the agonizing, the self torture.

When it comes down to it, I really don't want control. I have no power to exact changes, except small ones with the few choices available. If I prayerfully make those decisions I can, and then allow those choices to take their course, that is about all I can realistically do.

There will be unpleasantness.There will be pain. It will be fleeting.  I once told a good friend going through a very hard time, "Challenges are like a night at a bad hotel. It is unpleasant, but it will pass." I need to listen to my own advice.

And in all honesty, I know life isn't all sorrow. There are good memories mixed with the unpleasant. My future will be the same, a mixture. In addition, God has promised we will see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living. We must expect the Lord, do manfully, and let our hearts take courage, and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27: 13-14.

It is the waiting part that is so hard. However, I think I'm getting better at it.

Comments

  1. This is a wonderful post. Thank you for stopping by my blog. I always enjoy your visits.

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  2. Letting go can be difficult. I used to feel as if I had to have a tight grip on everything and everything had a proper place...not anymore. Let the Holy Spirit take control and enjoy the roller coaster ride. I am happy for you Cecilia...trust more, worry less.

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  3. Thank you, Debra. I enjoy your posts as well.

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  4. John, you are so right. That is indeed my intention now that I have figured out why I felt I needed to worry. I have always trusted God to take care of things, but felt it was my duty to worry in order to show I cared. Now I can see how foolish that was. Worry actually indicated little trust. It sure feels like a huge burden has been lifted - and it has.

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  5. This is so right on...and it goes with my devotional last week about intercession.

    I have fallen into both of these pits...and I hope I am learning to watch the signs that show me I am headed that way again.

    Good, good word...and very timely, I too don't want the control

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  6. Janette, needing and yet not wanting control is an ongoing struggle. One we will probably wage the rest of our lives. I suppose we can hope the struggle lessens with a resolve to let go one incident at a time.

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  7. Thank you for the great post! It's so hard not to worry, and like you said, it's like you don't love someone if you don't worry about them. But worry doesn't help anything, only harms you. I especially like what you say about weeping and praying, then giving the concerns into God's hands and letting go. Sweet relief and peace!

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  8. I could have sworn I left you a comment, Ceci. Worry is like acid and eats holes in one's heart. Waiting is always the hard part, especially when waiting on one of God's promises. Great reminder to not worry. And that worm photo...eeewwww! {{{shudder}}}

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  9. Yes, Connie, I know I am not alone in this. May we all learn to expunge the worry worms and live happier, more peace-filled lives.

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  10. I know, Lynn. That is why I chose the photo. Worry worms are ugly parasites we need to keep out of our hearts and minds. Gave me the creeps just looking at it, but it was perfect.

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  11. Psalm 27 has helped me hang in there many times and hold onto the Lord and His promises. It helps to remember that we are not just letting go -- we are taking hold of God's purpose for our lives. Wonderful post!

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  12. Ah, Judith. Psalm 27 has been my mantra for many, many years. Particularly verse 13-14. God showed those to me in a very dramatic way after my second husband passed away. They have been an encouragement ever since. Beautiful, inspirational verses.

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  13. Worry, I saw it from another perspective today.Thanks for sharing Cecilia.
    Your newest follower from rubyforwomen.

    www.ugochi-jolomi.com

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  14. Thankk you for the comment and the follow, Ugochi. And, welcome to Ruby for Women!

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  15. Cecilia - Psalm 27:13-14 is one of my favorite verses that I quote often. I agree - worry is a worm. They're hard to hold on to... I've always loved the saying, "Let go and let God".

    I've been guilty of worrying and slowly exhausting myself in the process. I have to remind myself that, "this too shall pass".

    Thanks for the gentle reminder :)

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  16. Yes, Deborah, they are slimy creatures that are hard to eradicate. We have such a compassionate God to send these reminders, and then give us the strength to move forward in faith and trust.

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