Okay, this isn't funny. Well, maybe sort of....

I woke this morning tired and a little grumpy. The vine I've been battling for two years won't stay dead. After cleaning out all but some roots, my husband and I put plastic sheeting over it last year and thought that would end it's life. When we removed the plastic this spring, the vine looked dead, but it wasn't.

As you can see from the picture, it's back, growing like a green monster.

The thought of putting who knows how many more hours ripping out its fingers, toes, trunk, and whatever else I can reach soured my thoughts. Some of the  roots are as big as my arm!

After removing seventy, yes seventy, pickup loads of debris from our yard last year, I really thought we were done with major projects, and we only had to maintain the flowerbeds and mow the lawn.

Deciding to procrastinate over one  more cup of coffee, I opened my emails and perused book sales, usually a sure fire way of making even the worst days better.

However this morning, one of the titles hit home a little too close, and I don't find it remotely funny. Well, after I think about it, maybe it is a little funny.

What are the chance of this happening on this particular day? 

I'd say God sometimes has a weird sense of humor. Then, maybe He's trying to tell me to lighten up a bit. After all, my vine isn't exactly as sinister as this one, is it?  The Vines

This Moment

We spend so much time being afraid and anxious despite repeated vows not to. We are exhausted before a crisis even strikes. 

I know all the platitudes. I know all the scriptures, but my mind still wants to race toward the worst scenario. This time around, I fought against the panic, the anxiety, and the fear. I prayed, read my bible, attended church, vowing no more complacencies in my spiritual life.  

The answer is simple, and yet so very, very difficult. Surrender. Let go. Don’t thrash and struggle. Yet, I’d rather tread water than just lie there and float. If I am struggling, I think I am in control. I know better, but I can't convince myself to remain still.  

Tomorrow I will hear the results of the biopsy. I have it in my mind that my world will change, turn upside down, maybe even spin out of control. It might, but it already has changed. I’ve changed. I see the world and my spiritual life differently. My priorities are different, more focused. During my devotions, I realized what I needed to do, the prayer I should say. I said the words with trepidation, but also with the desire to mean them with my whole heart.   

“Lord, let it be done unto me according to your will.”  

Fear comes from the devil. He wants me to withhold my vow, to continue to struggle, to doubt, to worry, and to fear, and not follow God's will for my life. This time, he's going to be disappointed. 

God doesn’t want me to live my life in fear.  

In fact, my pastor opened his sermon this week with the words, “Don’t be afraid.” 

I remembered advice I gave to my daughter during a difficult time in her life, words I need to take to heart.  “At this moment, all is well.”  

And it is. Today, there is no evil to face. Tomorrow, maybe, but not today, and when that evil does come, God will give me the grace, strength, and courage to face it.  

“Be not therefore solicitous for tomorrow; for the morrow will be solicitous for itself.” Matthew 6:34.

See No Evil

After another night of restless worry over the state of our world, I opened my blinds and saw the first lily of the year. It immediately reminded me of one of my favorite verses: “Consider the lilies…” Luke 12:27.

There is so much ugliness prevalent in our current society. Hate spewing in all the political posts and debates. I take that back, they aren’t debates. They are spiteful arguments, saying anything to hurt their opponents. Then come the threats of bodily harm. Those who call themselves righteous want to burn dissenters at the stake, including children, and they have no remorse! They have absolutely no concern or empathy for anyone who does not embrace their ideology to the fullest.

The Bible expressly states you shall not wish harm on another person — ever. Period. “Whoever hates his brother is a murderer.” 1 John 3:15, and “Whoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger of the judgement.” Matthew 5:22. Jesus demonstrated anger several times over injustices, like the money changers in the temple. The difference, his anger did not stem from hatred.

Even so, I don’t have to respond in kind. In fact, I don’t have to respond at all. It would be a waste of time and effort, anyway. They have no desire to hear anything contrary to their ideology. Jesus understood this, and often remained silent.

We see this not only in his condemnation, but also in the martyrdom of St. Stephen in the Acts of the Apostles. Those with guilty consciences couldn’t bear his godliness, so they destroyed him.

Evil will always exist. However, God gives us peace the world cannot touch. To achieve this peace we must not allow the evil of this world to dominate our minds and hearts. St. Stephen’s example is ours. While being stoned he held no anger, no animosity, no hatred. His focus was solely on God.

That was my answer. Focus on God rather than evil. That doesn’t mean ignore evil, or stand by and do nothing should I have the opportunity to alleviate suffering, but it does mean not to dwell on it. I may suffer from the evil acts of others, but with practice, I can have the peace that St. Stephen lived. Our time of suffering here on this earth is finite. Our joy in heaven will be eternal.

So, as the next wave of insanity spreads, I need to step back a moment and remember that God will eventually win this battle.

“In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.” John 16:33