October 06, 2013

The Unexpected Journey

This past week Facebook hosted Throwback Thursday and many posted a nostalgic picture of either themselves or family. I resisted most of the day, but after enjoying the photos of others, I decided to participate and dug out my senior photo. I didn't remember this young woman.

I stared at the photo for several minutes before the memories returned. I still don't remember the day the photo was taken. I know I was seventeen, because it was taken in September of my senior year. With this memory recalled, more pieces fell into place.

I was dating my first husband at the time, and had no clue what was coming. I wouldn't say I was innocent, (my family could quickly illustrate that was not the case), I was however, naive. Growing up in a loving Christian home, I couldn't imagine the horrors some people could inflict on others. This young girl found out too quickly it isn't always safe to trust someone who says they love you.



Her eyes still hold the confidence and the assurance of the young. In many ways she was a remarkable young woman, accomplished and talented, with a lot of self discipline. Looking back, I wish I could regain many of those traits life gradually pounded away.

There are a few similarities. Both women still love to paint, to write, to be outdoors and be with family. This older woman is a bit softer, not quite as self assured, and definitely not as disciplined, but she has no desire to go back to being that young girl and repeat the thirty-three years the girl has yet to face. It wasn't until I turned fifty that life eased up in the crises department. I am too old and too tired to repeat any of it.

 And yet, one thing this older woman has that the younger one has yet to gain - a deep faith in a loving God. This came about through the tragedies, through the trials and this older woman wouldn't change any of it, except perhaps the times she was unkind to others. A regret I believe most of us have.

Over all, I am happy with where I am in my life and who I have grown up to be. I have accepted my warts, my flaws, and my imperfections. I even manage to ignore my extra pounds and wrinkles on most days, and I can keep my accomplishments and talents in proper perspective, and still admire the end result.

It isn't over yet. I still have stories to tell and paintings to finish, places to explore and people to love, not to mention continuing as God's witness while I still walk upon this beautiful earth. Bless all young people just setting out on their life journeys. May God be with them, always, as He has been for  me.

4 comments:

  1. wow. I could sign my name at the end and say it's my story too! Except maybe the happy with where I am part. ;) Loved reading it :)

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    1. Thank you, Terri. I am blushing however, when I realized I forgot to re-edit the one paragraph about faith. OOps. Oh, well, there is one of those flaws I mentioned. I am sorry you are not exactly happy where you are, maybe God will fix that soon too. God bless you, my friend.

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  2. Ooo...love it, Ceci! I'm sorry I missed Throwback Thursday. Darn! Those are always fun. I love the woman that girl has become. May the Lord continue to bless you!

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    1. Thank you, Lynn! As I mentioned to Terri in her comment above, I just noticed the sentenced I forgot to re-edit, the one about my faith. Oh well. And may God continue to bless you as well, my good friend.

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