|Wally Gobetz Photography|
"And the words of Tobias were ended. And after Tobias was restored to his sight, he lived two and forty years, and saw the the children of his grandchildren. And after he had lived a hundred and two years, he was buried honourably in Ninive. For he was six-and fifty years of age when he lost the sight of his eyes, and sixty when he recovered it again. And the rest of his life was in joy, and with great increase of the fear of God he departed in peace."
I thought the age similarity interesting, especially since at the time I was struggling with a horrendous crises and teetered on the edge of serious depression. Of course, God was there, as always, but I couldn't really see His hand in my struggle. I was blind to His presence.
Looking back, I have been blind to His presence most of the time. Oh, I saw His miracles and gave thanks for them, but each time one appeared, it did so in spite of my doubts. I believed God was capable, that wasn't the issue, but I wasn't sure He wanted to grant the prayer, and I struggled with fear along with the doubt. I turned into a worrier, constantly anxious, over everything. Time and again God showed me His compassion, but it never penetrated my What If mentality.
I thought about the passage a great deal, and conjured some miraculous event to occur the year I turned sixty. When the magical day came, nothing miraculous happened, no extraordinary event to herald better times. If anything, my circumstance were almost worse than those at age fifty-six.