Between our impending move and the tenuous situation with my job I felt overwhelmed, unmotivated and frustrated all week. Added to this, I am struggling with the edits for my novel. During the best of times, writing is hard, and editing will cause any author to pull out fistfuls of hair. As a first time novelist, I am unsure, overly critical and overwhelmed. Good thing my hair grows fast.
My husband and I put our heads together and made some plans to offset the job situation and the move. We may end up with a Plan B or even G, but at least we have a current goal, something to shoot for. It felt good to be able to take some action, rather than just sit around and wring our hands.
I am in that no man's land of being too old to get hired and too young to retire. We can't afford rental payments or mortgage payments on Bill's retirement, and so I work. After a careful analysis of our budget, we realized we are very close to not needing the income from my job. Bill has done an excellent job of restructuring our budget, and we are so close to allowing me to quit work. Hower, as in horse shoes, not close enough to count. A little more scrutiny revealed most of my wages go toward rent and utilities. Without those, I could stop working. So, what could we do to change that? We came up with Plan B: the RV.
If we put everything in storage, and became full time RVers until I could draw my Social Security in December of 2014, I could quite work and we could do some traveling. Then with the added income from my retirement, we can afford to buy a home and have a permanent place to hang our hats - and park the RV, until we get another itch to travel, and still have the house. Sounds like a good plan, but only God knows whether it will actually work out.
Feeling inspired and more motivated, I bought some how-to-books on writing, primarily story structure and self-editing, and delved back in. It didn't exactly work out the way I planned. After a day of reading, analyzing and re-writing, I threw my hands up in disgust and decided, I wasn't a writer, never would be and I should just give up the whole idea. I didn't care if God sent a whole pride of lions after me, I was done. Finis. Kaput. Done.
After a restless night, I got up, made coffee (the elixir of life) and settled into my chair with my devotions. The first devotional had this: Nothing is impossible with you [God] at my side. I smiled. Yep, RVing was going to be a lot of fun.
Then, I opened the second devotional. It's title: Giving Up Is Not an Option.
I didn't need to ponder what that referred to. So today, back to the script, back to the how-to-books. I know better than be too stubborn when He says jump.
Luke 6: 39-42, the feeding of the five thousand, was the listed as the morning's Gospel. Yes, I understood. Nothing is impossible with God,and He can magnify our finances and my meager talent and make it not only enough, but enough with much left over.
If I had any doubts, God removed them during my morning commute. While sitting at one of the longest stop lights on my route, the sun broke through the storm clouds, creating a dramatic landscape of clouds and sunlight - a divine sight. I glanced toward the west. While I watched, a rainbow formulated, hung for a few minutes and melted away.
One thing I have learned, I can trust God's promises, even while it's still raining.
When you write I just want to talk back to the computer. I can so relate on all of this, even though I am far from retiring, my hearts desire to be home is strong. I keep hearing these exact words...don't give up...all things are possible with Him. I talked with another woman going through the same thing...loss of her house, husband's income dropped, while they are still raising children. God knows where all of us are. I am so blessed, inspired and challenged by your writing. Thanks so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Janette. I know I am not alone in my struggles. When God sends me encouragements, I know others will benefit as well. Your wedding posts were an inspiration to me. What an amazing experience you had. God has certainly blessed us both!
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