Standing Firm in Faith

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God tests our faith, sending storms to disrupt our quiet lives.

Both my sister and Ed have received the same scary health diagnosis in a preliminary screening, and both are facing the same follow-up procedure to confirm or clear the test results. I understand how they feel after having been on the receiving end of a scary diagnosis myself. It rocks your world and tests your faith. 

 The good news, only 25% of the initial test results are accurate and the follow-up is only a precaution. This gives some comfort to both them and me. 

Still, my imagination wants to stir up the worst-case scenarios, which is the devil trying to shake my faith in God’s promises. Did God not give me this promise?

 ^“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.

I believe Ed is the future God promised.

Which brings up another point. Being in a new relationship, my focus tends to lean heavily in that direction. Is God testing my faith like he did Abraham when he asked him to sacrifice his only son, Isaac?  Is he testing their faith for reasons I don't know? 

Whatever the purpose of this new test of faith, I’m leaving both Ed and my sister in God’s hands, standing firm in my faith in God’s promises. God never revokes a promise.

“… do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10.

Yes, Lord. I believe. Amen. 

Nearing the Finish Line

Image by Peter W from Pixabay

It’s almost done. I received another offer on the house. After a few back-and-forth counter offers, we settled on a price that both parties are happy with. The planned closing date is June 20^th, two weeks from my accepting the offer. I’m ready. I’ve done so much packing that it won’t be hard to finish.

Funny how your mind works. I couldn’t wait to move. Now, it’s bittersweet. I’m memorizing everything. How the sunrise tints the canyon and hills with soft, golden light, the quail scurrying across the law, the grazing doe, the chorus of birdsong. Time spent on the patio swing looking out over the little valley with cattle and hayfields, and so much more.

I’ll miss my good neighbors, my friends, and my church, but I’ll take memories with me, along with friendships. We’ve already planned visits and phone calls.

It’s time to move forward into this next season of my life. I’m sure God will provide all I need with some embellishments. There will always be sunrises and sunsets, birdsong, paths to walk, and friends.

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with the many years I had with my husband and this beautiful home. I know you have more blessings in my future. I just can’t see them at the moment. Amen. 

Still Waiting

Image by Dumitrița Albu from Pixabay   

Today is the first of June, and I’m still here, in this house, waiting. Waiting to move on, but stuck in limbo. I can’t move forward or back. Still waiting for reasons only God knows.

I read an article about the housing market. Nationwide, one out of seven sale contracts fail, and the market has now dropped from a sellers’ market to a buyers’ market. However, I only need one buyer. Someone who will love living in this house as much as I have. Is that a possible reason for this delay? Is someone out there praying for a home like mine but aren’t ready to buy at this moment? After all, God answers other people’s prayers too.

Then, perhaps the home God has planned for me in my home state isn’t available right now.

There are many plausible reasons for this delay and no guessing on my part will change my circumstances.

And so I wait.

Like the main character in Castaway, “I gotta keep breathing because tomorrow the sun will rise, who knows what the tide could bring?” 

Dear Lord, the hardest part of waiting for a miracle is hanging on for the last half hour. Please strengthen my faith and temper my doubts and impatience. Amen.

 

The Memo

Image by Biljana Jovanovic from Pixabay

I’m a planner and not knowing what my future holds is hard. Will the house sell? Where will I live once it does? Will I have enough income? Although, I’m doing better than I have in the past, part of me still wants solid evidence, a plan I can see, touch, and manipulate.

God sent two messages in response to my fretting.  

Last night, I watched a program with a character named Marie. That name is uncommon. I’ve only met one other Marie in my lifetime and rarely see it used in books or movies. God has done this before, so I paid close attention to the character’s troubles. At the end of the program, she had a hard decision to make. Another character quoted Ecclesiastes 3:1 as advice. “There is a season for all things.” That scripture has special meaning for me, and I quoted it in my devotional book, A God for All Seasons.

Yes, I’m in a new season of my life. One that is filled with questions such as, “What now?”

This morning, the title to the devotion in Our Daily Bread is: Give Your Worries to Jesus.

The scripture quote is from Matthew 6:25-27. “...Don’t worry about your life...Consider the lilies...”

Every time I’ve been in a precarious financial situation that scripture, or references to lilies, has preceded a miracle.

“But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown in the oven, will he not much more clothe you — you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For it is the gentiles who seek all these things, and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

As for today’s troubles? I have a warm home, food in the pantry, and clothes to wear. My troubles are few. For tomorrow’s worries, I stand on my faith and trust in God’s promises.

Dear Lord, I place my life in your hands, letting go of my worries and concerns. But I’m weak. I’ll slip and feel anxious again. However, you won’t let me wallow there. You’ll send more messages to remind me not to worry. You have all in your loving hands. Amen.

 

A New Season

Image by Ilona Ilyés from Pixabay

 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Mathew 5:4. 

For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up;
a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to throw away;
a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to keep silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate. a  time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. 

My husband passed away on Saturday, January 25^th, 2025. I’m still processing, trying to come to terms with how quickly I became a widow — for the third time. So many life-altering decisions need to be done quickly. Taxes must be filed and accounts rolled over to my name.

The biggest challenge, putting the house on the market. Even if my husband lived the year, the doctors thought he might, we couldn’t keep up with the large yard and home. So, we agreed to sell. God granted my husband enough time to sign all the documentation necessary for me to handle our financial affairs, and the marathon began.

From  9 am to 5 pm, I stayed at the hospital with my husband, needing and wanting every moment possible with him. Early mornings and late evenings, I worked at home to ready it for sale. Looking back, I don’t know how I had the strength. It had to be God’s doing.

God was also in every detail of this transition. As I approached each closed door, it opened. For example, the garage door opener malfunctioned, and I needed to replace it. If I purchased a new one, my generous neighbor offered to install it. Armed with the specs for a new one, I marched into the home improvement store. They had one.

When the hospital discharged my husband to hospice care, my sweet, dear friend opened her house to us. I planned on sleeping on an air mattress next to my husband's hospital bed, but those mattresses can be cold. I went shopping for a mattress topper. The department store had one on sale.

I needed a wall repair kit to touch up the walls in our home. The hardware store was sold out except for the exact number I needed, and the list goes on. God is there, in all the tiny details like garage door openers, mattress toppers, and wall repair kits. How much more will he be in all the other details of my life?

I don’t know what my future holds, but I will never face it alone. Not only will I have the support of family and friends, but God has promised to never leave or forsake me. I believe that with all my heart.

 

Thank you, Lord, for your loving care. You are my rock, a sanctuary amid turbulent seas. Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

An Unexpected Turn

 

Image by Artur Pawlak from Pixabay

I haven’t posted in a long while. Life took an unexpected turn on January 1^st.

My husband slipped trying to sit on the bed and fell to the floor. When he couldn't get back up, I called 911. He was transported by ambulance to the ER. A CAT scan revealed a brain tumor. The attending physician arranged transportation to the nearest neurology specialist, two hours away.

Surgery followed three days later. Diagnosis: glioblastoma. Unfortunately, because of the location of the tumor, a complete removal wasn’t possible. The best scenario is a year with treatment. Radiation and possibly chemo.

The neurosurgeon arranged transportation back to our hometown to an acute rehab.

At the moment, my husband has symptoms similar to a stroke. Tumor was on the left side, so his right side was impacted. He isn’t paralyzed, but the nerves aren’t firing and he can’t move his right arm or leg. With stimulation, his Physical Therapists are hoping to regenerate those nerves. His speech and swallowing were also affected. With therapy, those have improved.

We have the support of a wonderful medical care team and friends and family. We are so very blessed in that regard.

For the rest of my husband’s recovery and however many days we have left, we trust God. He has never forsaken us. Never broken a promise. He is always faithful, and we are thankful. Amen. 

The Christmas Candle

Image by congerdesign from Pixabay

In the movie, The Christmas Candle, 19^th century English villagers hold the belief whoever lights the candle touched by an angel will be granted a miracle on Christmas Eve.

As the villagers scramble to obtain the candle, I wondered if I had the candle, would I give it to someone who needed a miracle more? I like to think I would. But would I?

Two of my favorite scriptures came to mind.  

“Consider the lilies, how they grow: they labor not, neither do they spin. But I say to you, not even Solomon in all his glory was clothed like one of these. Now if God clothe in this manner the grass that is today in the field, and tomorrow is cast into the oven; how much more you, O ye of little faith? And seek not you what you shall eat, or what you shall drink: and be not lifted up on high. For all these things do the nations of the world seek. But your Father knows that you have need of these things.” Luke 12:27-32

 “The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the protector of my life: of whom shall I be afraid? I believe to see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living. Expect the Lord, do manfully, and let thy heart take courage, and wait thou for the Lord.” Psalm 27: 1, 13-14

The answer to my question? I would. For I have no need for candles - or lotteries. I have an all-powerful Father who takes care of all my needs. I can afford to be generous to others.

The most generous gift of all?

“For God so loved the world, as to give his only begotten Son; that whosoever believeth in him, may not perish, but may have life everlasting.” John 3:16

Amen.

 

 

 

 

  

Search and Rescue

Photo by José de Azpiazu @ Unsplash

God has rescued me so many times, I’ve lost count, and this last Monday was another. My doctor prescribed an antibiotic for an infection. Three days afterward, I woke at 11:30 pm with my arm itching. An inspection revealed a rash on both arms and my shoulders. Minutes after rousing my husband, I became dizzy, almost passing out, too weak to walk. It was difficult to talk. 

Twice in the past, my tongue has swollen when taking antibiotics, and with a 30-mile drive to the hospital, we called 911. Then, if my symptoms worsened, I’d have immediate assistance. Thankfully, I remained stable.

All my test results came back normal, blood work and EKG. After ruling out any other cause, the ER doctor treated my reaction with an IV concoction of medications and sent me home with a list of oral doses.

In a follow up with my regular practitioner, she told me it takes about two weeks for antibiotics to leave our system and so my symptoms could come and go for several more days. I’m not totally out of danger yet but the prednisone should speed my recovery, along with 65 oz of water and Benadryl four times a day, plus an antacid to reduce any reflux.  

This is the third adverse reaction to an antibiotic. All three were different meds with rare side effects, but each time I inadvertently minimized the affects. Hours before starting the antibiotics, my allergies flared up, and I took an antihistamine. I am sure God had a hand in that. Now, the idea of taking antibiotics makes me anxious, but I’ll keep Benadryl on hand and put my trust — and my life — in God’s hands.

Our Daily Bread devotion for Tuesday spoke about how God searches and rescues us from our difficulties — if we accept His help. He often does it through people, like my First Responders and the hospital staff, but I can be First Responder in other ways. I can pray, listen, care, and devote my time and any resources I have to help someone else.  

Has anyone’s compassion rescued you when you needed it most? Have you ever rescued someone else?

Dear Lord, thank you for being my Rescuer repeatedly. I will try to pay it forward. Amen.