A New Season

Image by Ilona Ilyés from Pixabay

 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Mathew 5:4. 

For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up;
a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to throw away;
a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to keep silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate. a  time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. 

My husband passed away on Saturday, January 25^th, 2025. I’m still processing, trying to come to terms with how quickly I became a widow — for the third time. So many life-altering decisions need to be done quickly. Taxes must be filed and accounts rolled over to my name.

The biggest challenge, putting the house on the market. Even if my husband lived the year, the doctors thought he might, we couldn’t keep up with the large yard and home. So, we agreed to sell. God granted my husband enough time to sign all the documentation necessary for me to handle our financial affairs, and the marathon began.

From  9 am to 5 pm, I stayed at the hospital with my husband, needing and wanting every moment possible with him. Early mornings and late evenings, I worked at home to ready it for sale. Looking back, I don’t know how I had the strength. It had to be God’s doing.

God was also in every detail of this transition. As I approached each closed door, it opened. For example, the garage door opener malfunctioned, and I needed to replace it. If I purchased a new one, my generous neighbor offered to install it. Armed with the specs for a new one, I marched into the home improvement store. They had one.

When the hospital discharged my husband to hospice care, my sweet, dear friend opened her house to us. I planned on sleeping on an air mattress next to my husband's hospital bed, but those mattresses can be cold. I went shopping for a mattress topper. The department store had one on sale.

I needed a wall repair kit to touch up the walls in our home. The hardware store was sold out except for the exact number I needed, and the list goes on. God is there, in all the tiny details like garage door openers, mattress toppers, and wall repair kits. How much more will he be in all the other details of my life?

I don’t know what my future holds, but I will never face it alone. Not only will I have the support of family and friends, but God has promised to never leave or forsake me. I believe that with all my heart.

 

Thank you, Lord, for your loving care. You are my rock, a sanctuary amid turbulent seas. Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

Extraordinary Sacrifices

Our pastor read from the Book of Ruth last Sunday. He spoke of ordinary kindness, which we call politeness, and extraordinary kindness, like Ruth showed to Naomi. In Ruth’s case, God returned her sacrifice with a loving husband in Boaz. That bit of scripture reminded me of my own hard sacrifice.

Being widowed once was rough, twice was unfathomable. But God asked me if I’d be willing. It wasn’t that a hard of a choice. After all, if you love someone, you don’t stop just because things get hard.

Yes, I could have refused and let Shannon suffer through the treatments alone, but I couldn’t do that. He had no one else to care for him through the surgery and radiation treatments, and to take care of his personal and financial needs. My dad was particularly worried about the latter, my being burdened with massive medical bills.

In honesty, Shannon’s doctors believed his treatments put his brain cancer in remission and he’d live for years before it came back. Even so, I knew I’d eventually lose him to the disease. That didn’t stop me from accepting his proposal. I loved him.

Not knowing how much time we had, I memorized every gesture, the way he walked, talked, laughed. I wanted to hold each memory close, saving them for the tough times yet to come.

We married in September.

Shannon’s scans in October were clear, no sign of the cancer, and we celebrated his remission. However, he suffered a grand mal seizure in November. A brain scan showed the cancer had come back and had taken one third of his brain. His oncologist had never seen a cancer turn that aggressive. Shannon passed away six weeks later, three months after our marriage.

I won’t deny it was hard. Especially since it had only been three years since I’d lost my second husband. I was only 48, divorced once, and widowed twice. It seemed I would spend the rest of my life alone.

Did I regret my choices? No. Was I angry? No. Sad, yes. Hurt, yes. Lonely, yes. But I wasn’t alone. God had promised after my second husband had passed away, I’d never look at the stars alone. (See:  You Will Never Look at the Stars Alone) He kept that promise then, and He would keep it now too.

Through a series of coincidences, visions, and dreams, God told me He would grant my prayer for a companion to grow old with in health. My current husband is the fulfillment of that promise. As of this writing, we have been married twenty-one years and counting.

As I reflected on our pastor’s words, God granted me another vision. I saw Jesus walk down the aisles of the sanctuary and touch each parishioner on the shoulder, infusing us with the Holy Spirit. Fitting since it was Pentecost and that through the Holy Spirit, we find the courage and strength to accept the extraordinary sacrifices God asks of us.

How about you? Was there a time when God called on you to make an extraordinary sacrifice?

Dear Lord, life may be hard at times, but if I put my trust in You, it is also filled with much joy. Amen.