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Since publishing my devotional, I’ve experienced a darkness I can’t explain. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t form words for prayer. Dark thoughts, so unlike me, spiraled through my mind.
Exhaustion finally
allowed me to sleep, but it wasn’t restful, and it was peppered with horrible
dreams.
It was Sunday. I wanted
to go to church, but getting ready seemed an overwhelming chore. After several
minutes of oscillating back and forth, I dragged myself into the shower and
dressed. Still fighting the urge to climb back under the covers, I drove the
twenty miles to church on autopilot. The moment I entered the church, I knew I’d
made the right decision.
Through the worship, my
emotions lightened some, but the dark persisted, refusing to release me. I knew
what the next step had to be. I needed additional prayer.
After the service, I
approached the couple sitting in front of me and asked if they would keep me in
their prayers. They did more than that. They prayed with me right then. The
darkness grayed.
As I exited the
sanctuary, my pastor asked me how I was. Something showed on my face because he
followed that up with another question. “Is there something I can pray with you
about?”
I told him, “Yes, I feel a
darkness I can’t explain.”
He prayed with me, and
the last vestiges of darkness lifted. I left the church whole, my emotions
lighter, happier.
The darkness has not
returned.
I’m not sure why the
publication of this book put me under such a vicious attack, except that God may
use it to draw more souls to Him. If that’s true, I’ll endure many dark nights.
However, I don’t believe that’s God’s intention, or He would not have delivered
me through the companionship and prayers of fellow believers.
“Again, I say to you,
that if two of you shall consent upon earth, concerning anything whatsoever
they shall ask, it shall be done to them by my Father who is in heaven. For
where there are two or three gathered together in my name, there am I in the
midst of them.” Matthew 18:18-20.
Amen.
I am enjoying your devotional! I read a little of it every day. Your words are so thought-provoking and insightful and full of love. I remember some things from your blog, but not others. It is strange that a darkness overcame you post-publication, but I'm glad it's gone.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are enjoying the book, and yes, I'm sure you recognize some. I'm glad the darkness is gone too!
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