Unnecessary Desires

Photo by My Life Journal on Unsplash

It is not a coincidence that my yearly health visit with my doctor happened at the start of Lent. This seems to be a pattern the last three years for some physical, mental, and spiritual housecleaning.

During Lent of 2018, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, a period of major body and mental reconstruction. February 2019 my father passed away, leaving our mother in my sister’s and my care. More massive life changes and interior house cleaning. This year, my perpetual fight against age-related weight gain is the physical focus, with a corresponding change in my mental attitude toward diet and other bad habits.

Everywhere I look there are references to fasting. My devotions included this quote from the Book of Esther, “… she humbled her body with fasts.”

In the past, I looked at my diet as a method of weight control, never as a method of humbling myself before God.

If I had any further doubts, my devotions included this quote from spiritualist Dorothy Day. “We all have these habits, the youngest and the oldest. And we have to die to ourselves in order to live, we have to put off the old man and put on Christ. That it is so hard, that it arouses so much opposition, serves to show what an accumulation there is in all of us of unnecessary desires.”

Fasting serves many purposes. Denying the flesh of the most basic of all needs, is the start to learning self-denial, cleaning out the body and the soul, preparing it to be filled with the holy spirit.

Fasting doesn’t mean going without food for an entire day, but limiting my intake to one meal and two smaller meals, which added together would not exceed the main meal in quantity. Also, eliminating foods with no dietary value other than taste, eaten only for the pleasure. Sounds like a good way to cut calories, doesn’t it?

Other habits besides food indulgences keep me from coming closer to God. The lure of digital devices can eat up my time, leaving no room for prayer or meditation. The desire to judge others, control another’s behavior, to mete out justice according to my ideas, even the desire to end all suffering are in the same category. God sees into others’ hearts and knows what is best for them. Suffering is often necessary to turn a heart from stone to one of compassion, to open a soul to trust God and nothing else.

It is difficult to give God complete control of our lives, our loved ones, even the world. We fall for Satan’s lie that struggle and worry are signs of our compassion for others. We confuse those with concern.

I embrace this season of fasting, meditation, and prayer, recognizing that doesn’t mean discarding everything forever. Food, entertainment, relationships, thoughts, desires, and possessions have a purpose. Nothing of itself, except the human heart, is evil. It is how we use them that determines their value.

Dear Lord, give me the grace and fortitude to use your gifts for good and not only for pleasure. Amen.