In Control or Trapped?

I tend to rehash my mistakes and situations in a vain attempt to change the results. I question whether I should have spoken up or remained quiet. If I reacted sooner could I have prevented the disaster? On and on my thoughts whirl, replaying each moment.

This game is an illusion, believing I can change a situation by altering my behavior. Sometimes that’s true, if it is my rash actions or words that caused the problem. In other circumstances this is not true. 

As hard as it is to accept, sometimes suffering is necessary for a soul’s growth, and it is not up to me to remove it or alter the situation.

On the other hand, not acting when I should is another error in judgment.

Trusting in God, praying for discernment, and listening for His answer with an open mind and heart is my only recourse. Obeying Him removes the need to second guess my actions. But, I must also keep in mind God will not force anyone to bend to His will, and neither can I no matter how hard or how many ways I try, and replaying it over and over won’t make a difference, except to leave me trapped and unable to move on.

I seem bound to relearn this lesson regardless of my resolve not to forget.

Dear Lord, give me discernment to know Your will. Guide me to act when I should, to remain silent when necessary, and when to pray, trusting You to sort it out according to Your will. Amen.