Our pastor read from the Book of Ruth last Sunday. He spoke of ordinary kindness, which we call politeness, and extraordinary kindness, like Ruth showed to Naomi. In Ruth’s case, God returned her sacrifice with a loving husband in Boaz. That bit of scripture reminded me of my own hard sacrifice.
Yes, I could have refused and let Shannon suffer through the treatments alone, but I couldn’t do that. He had no one else to care for him through the surgery and radiation treatments, and to take care of his personal and financial needs. My dad was particularly worried about the latter, my being burdened with massive medical bills.
In honesty, Shannon’s doctors believed his treatments put his brain cancer in remission and he’d live for years before it came back. Even so, I knew I’d eventually lose him to the disease. That didn’t stop me from accepting his proposal. I loved him.
Not knowing how much time we had, I memorized every gesture, the way he walked, talked, laughed. I wanted to hold each memory close, saving them for the tough times yet to come.
We married in September.
Shannon’s scans in October were clear, no sign of the cancer, and we celebrated his remission. However, he suffered a grand mal seizure in November. A brain scan showed the cancer had come back and had taken one third of his brain. His oncologist had never seen a cancer turn that aggressive. Shannon passed away six weeks later, three months after our marriage.
I won’t deny it was hard. Especially since it had only been three years since I’d lost my second husband. I was only 48, divorced once, and widowed twice. It seemed I would spend the rest of my life alone.
Did I regret my choices? No. Was I angry? No. Sad, yes. Hurt, yes. Lonely, yes. But I wasn’t alone. God had promised after my second husband had passed away, I’d never look at the stars alone. (See: You Will Never Look at the Stars Alone) He kept that promise then, and He would keep it now too.
Through a series of coincidences, visions, and dreams, God told me He would grant my prayer for a companion to grow old with in health. My current husband is the fulfillment of that promise. As of this writing, we have been married twenty-one years and counting.
As I reflected on our pastor’s words, God granted me another vision. I saw Jesus walk down the aisles of the sanctuary and touch each parishioner on the shoulder, infusing us with the Holy Spirit. Fitting since it was Pentecost and that through the Holy Spirit, we find the courage and strength to accept the extraordinary sacrifices God asks of us.
How about you? Was there a time when God called on you to make an extraordinary sacrifice?
Dear Lord, life may be hard at times, but if I put my trust in You, it is also filled with much joy. Amen.
Not knowing how much time we had, I memorized every gesture, the way he walked, talked, laughed. I wanted to hold each memory close, saving them for the tough times yet to come.
We married in September.
Shannon’s scans in October were clear, no sign of the cancer, and we celebrated his remission. However, he suffered a grand mal seizure in November. A brain scan showed the cancer had come back and had taken one third of his brain. His oncologist had never seen a cancer turn that aggressive. Shannon passed away six weeks later, three months after our marriage.
I won’t deny it was hard. Especially since it had only been three years since I’d lost my second husband. I was only 48, divorced once, and widowed twice. It seemed I would spend the rest of my life alone.
Did I regret my choices? No. Was I angry? No. Sad, yes. Hurt, yes. Lonely, yes. But I wasn’t alone. God had promised after my second husband had passed away, I’d never look at the stars alone. (See: You Will Never Look at the Stars Alone) He kept that promise then, and He would keep it now too.
Through a series of coincidences, visions, and dreams, God told me He would grant my prayer for a companion to grow old with in health. My current husband is the fulfillment of that promise. As of this writing, we have been married twenty-one years and counting.
As I reflected on our pastor’s words, God granted me another vision. I saw Jesus walk down the aisles of the sanctuary and touch each parishioner on the shoulder, infusing us with the Holy Spirit. Fitting since it was Pentecost and that through the Holy Spirit, we find the courage and strength to accept the extraordinary sacrifices God asks of us.
How about you? Was there a time when God called on you to make an extraordinary sacrifice?
Dear Lord, life may be hard at times, but if I put my trust in You, it is also filled with much joy. Amen.
This is a beautiful post. Sometimes I don't realize what I'm going through until I can look back at it. So I'll say maybe I'm going through a time of sacrifice right now, but I'm not sure. I'm just trying to keep my eyes on the Lord and not give in to the spirit of fear.
ReplyDeleteCaring for an aging parent is definitely an extraordinary sacrifice and God notices. During the hard times, all we can do is focus on the next step, the next hour, relying on God's strength to get us through to the next. May God give you the strength, courage, and wisdom you need. Amen.
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