The Final Letting Go

Image by Heri Santoso from Pixabay

I thought I had accepted this new life and was looking forward to a new future, but I dreaded the upcoming Valentine’s Day. I imagined the day would weigh heavy on my heart, yearning for the love I lost. But then God sent the dream...   

My late husband appeared to me in the hospital waiting room. He gestured for me to sit on a nearby bench and took a seat beside me.

He said, “I know we hoped the surgery would give us more time, and I agreed to it, but when I became bedridden, I was  a burden I didn’t want to be and one you didn’t need. As much as I hated leaving you, it was better that I did, for both of us. Now it’s time you let me go, really let me go, and move on with your life.”

I wanted to argue that I wasn’t ready, but recognized he was right. Refusing to let him go was selfish. If I loved him as much as I claimed, I’d let him go.

I woke up changed. Rather than looking back and focusing on what I lost, I now recognize what I accomplished and how far I’ve come. I still love him and always will, but instead of clinging and pining for a life that’s gone, I cherish my memories of our life together and set my face forward, not back.   

The clouds that had plagued our area for so long gave way to sunshine, inside my heart as well as outside my window. I feel lighter, less burdened.

Valentine's day. I woke without the sadness I had expected. Instead, peace filled my heart. No tears. No yearning.

God’s love is eternal and his promises are true. “I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.” Jeremiah 31:13.

You have, Lord. Thank you. Amen.