A New Thing

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

 The 25^th of this month marks the one-year anniversary of my husband’s passing. It has been busy. No pause in the physical and mental demands — until now.

The legal aspects of losing a spouse are finished. The physical and emotional task of sorting and disposing of his personal belongings is done. The selling of our home and relocating are over. The holidays are over as well. Family has settled back into busy lives. We text. We call, but the get-togethers are less often. Life goes on.

With nothing pressing to keep me busy, grief has settled in, along with the accompanying fatigue.. I don’t fight it. When I need to rest, I do. No guilt. Some days are more productive. Shopping, cleaning, painting, writing. Other days, I have little motivation to even get dressed.

Today, I woke with a different attitude. Instead of looking at a day of intense quiet, I anticipate what God has planned. He has promised me a future. Today is yesterday’s future — filled with possibilities and hope.

It is amazing how a change in mental attitude affects your outlook as well as your energy levels. Oh, there will still be moments of deep grief and the accompanying fatigue, but it won’t last as long. For the most part, I’ll be looking for new ways to be useful, to be a part of something outside myself. What that is, at this moment only God knows. But I’m ready. I’m waiting, and I’m watching.

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19

Thank you, Lord. Amen.