The freight train of trouble increased speed this week when
my dad called regarding my mother. Doctors say she will have a major stroke if
she doesn't have surgery to clear the clogged artery, and yet, given her
current situation, they give her only a 50-50 chance of surviving the surgery. Another
consultation is set for this coming week.
Shortly after receiving this heart breaking, nerve-wracking
word, the car left me stranded - again -this time at the gas station.
Which issue do we address first? Should I take unpaid time
off from work and make the seven hour drive home to see my mother, taking our only working vehicle or do we rent one? Do we fix
the car first or do we we march ahead with buying a house? If we do go for the house, we avoid the
double cost of two addition moves and higher interest, not to mention prices. If
we go for a loan, will the job last long enough to close? We can only do one
and by choosing it, will delay our ability to do the other for several months
to a year.
Bill and I wracked our brains for a out a way out of this
Gordian Knot and came up with some feeble logic. We need a place to live,
regardless of the other issues. At our age we can't keep moving from lease to
lease. It is time to settle in some place.
By choosing to this, we can only fix the car if it costs
only a small amount. If it is more, we'll have to work around one vehicle,
which means juggling my commute, Bill's need of vehicle and going home to see my mother.
Have we made the right decision? None would be perfect,
filled with possible disasters regardless of which we chose. As usual, my daily
devotions came to my emotional rescue.
The first was from the 2 Timothy 4:17: "…and I was
delivered out of the mouth of the lion." For those of you who regularly
read my posts, know this is a recurring theme in my life with many symbolic
meanings.
The second was from Romans 4:18 is another repetitive
symbolic reference. "[Abraham] Who against all hope believed in
hope…"
Then Psalm 105: 43: "And he brought forth his people
with joy, and his chosen with gladness."
The last was from Streams
in the Desert: "Wherever God points a finger, His hand will clear a
way."
And so, again I will try to believe in hope where I see none,
try to rely on His promise that we will be brought forth with joy and gladness
in whichever direction He clears the way. While I do not know exactly which
direction that will be, and I will struggle with doubt when feeling
disappointed and overwhelmed, I do know He will untie this knot one-way or the
other. He will deliver me from out of the lion's mouth. The hard part will be
recognizing the deliverance if it does not align with my idea of what that deliverance
should be.
Bill just called me over to the big picture
window facing east. This is what Mr. Skeptic, the retired police officer who doesn't believe in anything not grounded in science, saw. When first viewed, the shape was perfect with straight lines. By the time I found the camera, hidden in an obscure safe place, the shape had lost some if its form and had slid
further down toward the horizon.
Bill said he had never seen anything quite like it. After reading my post to him, I thought it might be some divine confirmation. We giggled a few minutes over the odds of seeing this on this particular morning, and I went back to my office and he went to his - on the west side of the house.
Seconds later, "Marie! Come quick!"
As I ran down the hall I thought, "No, it couldn't be." But, it
was.
What are the odds of this? With God, all things are possible, even the untying of our Gordian Knot. From now on Bill and I will flash each other the V sign when we are feeling confused and overwhelmed, giggle and go on.
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