May 05, 2012

I've Figure It Out

Worry is relentless, moving through my life like a raging storm, devouring everything in its path, leaving horrendous devastation behind. I think I finally figured out why I continue to feed its voracious appetite — control.

Somewhere, I picked up two damaging ideas. The first, if you care about someone or something, you will worry over its wellbeing. If you don’t worry and fret, you don’t love. The second, by worrying, fretting, and pacing, I will somehow maintain control over the situation. If I just let go, I lose all chance of control. I am just debris blown about wherever the wind takes me, without direction or purpose. That idea brings on panic attacks and nightmares.

I know I have no control over anything except my reaction. Even those are sometimes hard to control, but to let go is unthinkable despite my vows to do so.

But knowing the cause is half the battle. When worries start burrowing into my thoughts, I need to remind myself that agonizing will not change the outcome, only erode this moment. Letting go doesn’t mean I don’t care, only letting go of the struggle.

I can weep with the grieving, offer help to those in need wherever and however I can, pray, and let God manage the outcomes.   

I don’t want control.

There will be unpleasantness. There will be pain, but it will be fleeting. I once told a good friend going through a very hard time, “Challenges are like a night at a bad hotel. It is unpleasant, but it will pass.” I need to listen to my own advice.

Life isn’t all sorrow. Good memories are mixed with the unpleasant. My future will be the same, a mixture. In addition, God has promised we “will see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living. We must expect the Lord, do manfully, and let our hearts take courage, and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27: 13-14.

It is the waiting that is so hard. However, I hope I’m getting better at it.

16 comments:

  1. This is a wonderful post. Thank you for stopping by my blog. I always enjoy your visits.

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  2. Letting go can be difficult. I used to feel as if I had to have a tight grip on everything and everything had a proper place...not anymore. Let the Holy Spirit take control and enjoy the roller coaster ride. I am happy for you Cecilia...trust more, worry less.

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  3. Thank you, Debra. I enjoy your posts as well.

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  4. John, you are so right. That is indeed my intention now that I have figured out why I felt I needed to worry. I have always trusted God to take care of things, but felt it was my duty to worry in order to show I cared. Now I can see how foolish that was. Worry actually indicated little trust. It sure feels like a huge burden has been lifted - and it has.

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  5. This is so right on...and it goes with my devotional last week about intercession.

    I have fallen into both of these pits...and I hope I am learning to watch the signs that show me I am headed that way again.

    Good, good word...and very timely, I too don't want the control

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  6. Janette, needing and yet not wanting control is an ongoing struggle. One we will probably wage the rest of our lives. I suppose we can hope the struggle lessens with a resolve to let go one incident at a time.

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  7. Thank you for the great post! It's so hard not to worry, and like you said, it's like you don't love someone if you don't worry about them. But worry doesn't help anything, only harms you. I especially like what you say about weeping and praying, then giving the concerns into God's hands and letting go. Sweet relief and peace!

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  8. I could have sworn I left you a comment, Ceci. Worry is like acid and eats holes in one's heart. Waiting is always the hard part, especially when waiting on one of God's promises. Great reminder to not worry. And that worm photo...eeewwww! {{{shudder}}}

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  9. Yes, Connie, I know I am not alone in this. May we all learn to expunge the worry worms and live happier, more peace-filled lives.

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  10. I know, Lynn. That is why I chose the photo. Worry worms are ugly parasites we need to keep out of our hearts and minds. Gave me the creeps just looking at it, but it was perfect.

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  11. Psalm 27 has helped me hang in there many times and hold onto the Lord and His promises. It helps to remember that we are not just letting go -- we are taking hold of God's purpose for our lives. Wonderful post!

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  12. Ah, Judith. Psalm 27 has been my mantra for many, many years. Particularly verse 13-14. God showed those to me in a very dramatic way after my second husband passed away. They have been an encouragement ever since. Beautiful, inspirational verses.

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  13. Worry, I saw it from another perspective today.Thanks for sharing Cecilia.
    Your newest follower from rubyforwomen.

    www.ugochi-jolomi.com

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  14. Thankk you for the comment and the follow, Ugochi. And, welcome to Ruby for Women!

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  15. Cecilia - Psalm 27:13-14 is one of my favorite verses that I quote often. I agree - worry is a worm. They're hard to hold on to... I've always loved the saying, "Let go and let God".

    I've been guilty of worrying and slowly exhausting myself in the process. I have to remind myself that, "this too shall pass".

    Thanks for the gentle reminder :)

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  16. Yes, Deborah, they are slimy creatures that are hard to eradicate. We have such a compassionate God to send these reminders, and then give us the strength to move forward in faith and trust.

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