Ego

I have begun a  spiritual journey, one which will require a huge change in my way of thinking, behaving and perceptions. My goal is not to change the world, but change how I see the world. The first step is my ego.

Richard Rohr in his insightful book, The Naked Now, equates ego with the need to be right. He even quotes Dr. Phil: Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right? Those words struck deep.

How many times have I gone to great lengths to be right? How much of my suffering was the direct result of my ego taking a hit? Even in my spiritual life, I wanted to be right: on the right path, thinking the right things, acting in the right way. How often did I use God's yard stick as my unit of measure? Most of the time I used another method - my ego. To stroke my ego, I looked for confirmation from others.

On the surface, I truly thought I was seeking God's approval, while in truth, I wanted Him to confirm that I was right.

The Scripture, die to self equals letting go of my ego. The truly humble are not weak. They are exceptionally strong. Their self-being is not dependent on anyone, on any circumstance or deed. They spend little time thinking about how others need to change, focusing instead of how they need to change.

It is a tall order, this letting go of ego, pride, the need to be right, to be on the right side, the best, the winner. This new spirituality focuses on Being. Being in communion with God and allowing everything else to fall into place. And it will. With Him as my focus, I will naturally care about my family, my friends, my neighborhood, my city, my country and my world. 

This change in focus will change my perceptions, the first being judgement. This will be a hard one. How can I not judge what is good or bad? How should we react to injustices? Just determining that there is an injustice is a form of judgement, isn't it? How can I work toward world change if I don't determine where injustices lie and then act?

First, all changes begin very close to home - me. First I change. Scripture speaks of the tendency to see the mote in my brother's eye, ignoring the beam in mine.

This seems daunting, but all journeys begin with the first step. My first step is working on my ego, my need to always be right - in my eyes as well as others. I can't help but wonder how this change will effect my life. Will I indeed be happier? And in due course, will others around me be happier? With a moment truthful reflection, the answer is easy to see.

Comments

  1. WOW!!!!!!!!! and in a good convicting way...ouch!!!! There with you, yet not wanting to jump. Okay, this is in my face this morning..the need to be right. As a first born I can't ever remember not wanting to be right...and mostly before God. I have also learned over and over again that doing what is right doesn't mean I will not suffer.

    There is a lot in this I need to digest...and comments aren't needed when I am digesting and allowing the Holy Spirit to teach me through your words.

    Thanks for the iron that has sharpened me this morning.

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  2. Janette, I am still amazed at how God can change us, use us and then extend out to others. I know I am not alone in this journey, and it is good to glimpse other travelers. I too am a first born, and a high achiever, and perfectionist. Being right is in our blood! IBlessings to you!

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  3. That first step is the hardest part...this is something that we all struggle with, and I am on the same journey with you. Your blog has inspired me, John and so many others. I've given you a blog award, which you can pick up at my blog.

    http://innerhomestead.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/beautiful-blogger-award/

    Have a blessed weekend!

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  4. Wow Cecilia, you made it!! What a wonderful choice you made. It is a daily decision and at times can be from moment to moment. But just accepting in the tenderness of your heart, you have already accepted God's Will, for your life and your decisions.

    Sounds to me as if you made some right choices so there you go! I am incredibly happy for you. You are blessed!

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  5. Thank you, Judith! I had seen where you were the recipient of the award yourself, congratulations!

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  6. Thank you, John. It is a moment by moment choice. Ego is hard to overcome,it sneaks in easily and must be constantly foiled, but it is so worth it! Amazing how liberating it is not to feel the need to justify or be right all the time. I am happier than I have ever been in my life, although nothing has changed but me.

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  7. I had a conversation with a 23 year old young man on this around our table today...I think God is going to work this deep in my heart and allow the Holy Spirit to bring some correction in this around. It was very interesting to see him take off on this subject and add more. We just kept saying to each other, "now is that my ego?"

    Great thought-provoking post...as always

    Thanks for the comment on the pictures...we had fun.

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  8. Janette, usually a 23 year old male is the epitome of ego! What a heartwarming story of this young man, I presume is your son. How proud you must be of his youthful wisdom. And yes, I am doing the same thing, every day, questioning my motives and thoughts, are they ego driven?

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  9. Such an internal look. Wow! I've been through lots sanding and sharpening. The Lord has taught me that I must be before I can do. Whew! Sometimes a hard lesson! Bless you for sharing your heart and blessings in your journey.

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  10. Just finding you through another blog. I'm so encouraged to find other believers in the blogosphere! Am following, so I can check back now and then. Nice to find you!

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  11. Lynn, I so agree. He does like to sharpen and prune us to His ideal. Yet, we know it is all for our benefit. Blessings to you as well, dear friend.

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  12. Thank you for commenting and joining, Mare. I checked out your blog site and joined. I especially like your members title: Journey Buddies, for that is what we truly are. I am very glad we are connected!

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  13. Ego is just awful. I hate when it demands its way in my motivations. Good for you for fighting against it! I know you will gain the upper hand; hopefully, one day, so will I.

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  14. With diligence, we will gain the upper hand, Jolina. Bless you for stopping in and commenting. I enjoy reading about your parenting insights, and personal reflections on your blog as well. God bless you, Jolina.

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  15. Beautiful. We all need a prescription of kingdom-vision lens. Good reminder, Cecilia, thank you

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  16. Marcia, that is a beautiful description: kingdom vision lenses. I agree.

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