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| Image by Abbat from Pixabay |
It hasn’t been an easy life, but it has been a blessed one. However, despite the many miracles and blessings, I can understand how a soul could be weary, ready to move on to something better. A heavenly home with no tears or pain.
I think of my husband, how difficult his life was
in the last few years. He almost died with COVID. Although he recovered, his
energy level was never the same. Then, he injured his shoulder, requiring
steroid shots to make the pain tolerable. Add in extensive arthritis from the
physical strain of being a police officer, along with the emotional trauma. His
nightmares decreased in the last few years, but were still intense. He
underwent a difficult knee replacement surgery five months before being diagnosed
with brain cancer. Although he never said much, I can imagine how tired he was of being in pain.
Now, he’s resting and rejoicing with his loved
ones that have passed on before him, as well as being in the presence of our
Heavenly Father. I don’t begrudge him that joy, but I ache for his company.
One day, that ache will fade. How it will
eventually be filled is in God’s hands. I can say that I’m leaving my
future there. I’m too worn out, too tired, too emotionally bankrupt to
worry about what comes next. Today’s troubles are plenty, to quote Jesus in his
sermon about the lilies of the field. My worry won’t change anything except to
add to my misery.
Sunrise brings a new day, and with it, my to-do
list. How much I accomplish, and where my energy will come from, God will figure
it out. I’m just along for the ride.
Dear Lord, thank you for walking beside me
every day, and especially for the days you carried me. Amen.
