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| Original Photo by Cecilia Marie Pulliam |
I am sitting on the front porch looking
out over the canyon, listening to the creek and songbirds, quail and dove. The tangy
scents of pine , sage and wet grass tinge the air. Sunlight and shadows dance among the trees and along the lawn. No human noise mars the peacefulness. I can stay for as long as my heart desires. There is no early
morning commute or a long list of chores.
I’ve dreamed of this all my life.
But one thought clouds the moment. I don’t deserve it. Any of
it.
Why me? Why has God given me visions and dreams, promising
the last half of my life would be better than the first? What have I done to deserve
these wonderful gifts?
Yes, I have known deep sorrow, but who hasn’t?
My devotions this morning stated God sends sanctuaries to
the weary, giving them rest. Is that what this is? My sanctuary after a
lifetime of struggle?
Perhaps I am to use this quiet time for art, writing and
prayer. But will sharing those make any difference to anyone else?
I may never know the answers, at least not in this life, but
I can be thankful and not question His judgment. Many others have asked the question , “Why me?”, and I must remember God sees things differently than us, and He doesn’t make
mistakes.
“The Lord rules me: and I shall want nothing. He makes me lie
down in green pastures: he leads me beside the still waters.” Psalm 23:1-2.
Amen.
