Why Me and Not Others?

Original Photo by Cecilia Marie Pulliam

I am sitting on the front porch looking out over the canyon, listening to the creek and songbirds, quail and dove. The tangy scents of pine, sage and wet grass tinge the air. Sunlight and shadows dance among the trees and along the lawn. No human noise mars the peacefulness. I can stay for as long as my heart desires. There is no early morning commute or a long list of chores.

I’ve dreamed of this all my life.

But one thought clouds the moment. I don’t deserve it. Any of it.

Why me? Why has God given me visions and dreams, promising the last half of my life would be better than the first? What have I done to deserve these wonderful gifts?

Yes, I have known deep sorrow, but who hasn’t?

My devotions this morning stated God sends sanctuaries to the weary, giving them rest. Is that what this is? My sanctuary after a lifetime of struggle?

Perhaps I am to use this quiet time for art, writing and prayer. But will sharing those make any difference to anyone else?

I may never know the answers, at least not in this life, but I can be thankful and not question His judgment. Many others have asked the question,“Why me?”, and I must remember God sees things differently than us, and He doesn’t make mistakes.

“The Lord rules me: and I shall want nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures: he leads me beside the still waters.” Psalm 23:1-2.

Amen.