Difficult, But Worth the Effort

Photo by SplitShire from Pixabay

A recent conversation with a friend was echoed in my morning devotions. In Living Faith Terri Mefik wrote, “I may want to dictate to others how people should think or behave but if I put the relationship above forcing my will on others, I inevitably experience greater peace and joy.”

Life is much easier when I’m not worrying about someone else’s sin.

It isn’t that I am so good-natured that I’m never tempted to judge. My own drama keeps me too busy to worry about someone else’s behavior. I don’t have the energy or the desire to add any more. Besides, only God knows what is in the heart of another.

I have been harshly judged myself without my judges knowing the whole truth and I don’t want to do that to someone else. Their behavior (unless criminal), is between them and God. He is their final judge and the one they will have to answer to someday, just like I will.

If I want the benefit of the doubt, shouldn’t I give it to others as well?

Richard Rohr in his meditation on the Loving Gaze took this idea a step further. “The Christ in me sees the Christ in you.”

Christ in everyone.

Those words brought up a powerful image from my past.  

After seven years of domestic abuse and an ugly divorce, I needed therapy. A psychiatrist gave me the tools to deal with the nightmares and panic attacks, and he encouraged me to forgive. He emphasized that without forgiving the violence, the hatred and anger would destroy the rest of my life.

A friend recommended a Christian counselor specializing in abuse victims.

At the end of a long session, the counselor asked me to visualize Jesus on the cross. After a moment she asked me if He had come down and was he holding me?

What I saw was far more powerful.

My ex-husband stood behind the cross. As I watched, Jesus transposed his face over my ex-husband’s.

In that instant, I forgave and let all the anger and hate go. My world changed. Gone were the panic attacks and nightmares. The heavy weight I carried for so many years lifted. Colors were brighter, my steps lighter. I found peace.

That powerful moment taught me to look at others differently, to offer the benefit of the doubt first and to forgive instead of judging and holding a grudge. The Christ in me now sees the Christ in others.

Thank you, Lord, for that powerful message. It changed my life.