November 10, 2018

If Only I Were More Like St. Paul...


In my last post I mentioned my upcoming jury summons and my vow to keep a positive outlook. I failed.

I couldn’t sleep the night before. The room was cold. My legs ached. My mind wouldn’t quiet down and let me relax. No surprise I woke exhausted. Need I mention my frame of mind?

With a twenty-four-mile commute to the courthouse, I was on the road before sun up, grumbling the entire way. 

After a thirty-minute wait in a small conference room, the jury commissioner announced there were no courtrooms available for jury selection or trial, and we were all excused - with instructions to come back next Friday. 
Back at my car,  tired and sick from lack of sleep, I threw all God’s encouragement and promises out the window and had a meltdown.

Later, with a little reflection, I realized why I was so upset over jury duty. I'm tired, and not just from lack of sleep. The last two years have been rough with the move, the marathon of yard work at the new home, and my surgeries. I wanted more down time between my doctor’s release and my jury summons. The special court order dashed any hope of that. In response, I conducted a rather emotional pity party. As usual, God weighed in on the subject.

My readings the next morning included St. Paul’s letter to the Philippians, Chapter 4 verses 9-10.

I speak not as it were for want. For I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content therewith. I know both how to abound: (everywhere, and in all things, I am instructed) to both to be full, and to be hungry; both to abound, and to suffer need. I can do all things in him who strengthens me.

And that wasn’t all of God’s instructions.  I accidently turned to Matthew 16:9-10 instead of Luke 16:9-15.

Do you not yet understand, neither do you remember the five loaves among five thousand men, and how many baskets took you up? Nor the seven loaves among four thousand men, and how many baskets took you up?

The lesson: God provides not just enough, but enough with plenty left over.

I remembered none of it yesterday.

If only I could be more like St. Paul and accept my circumstances, whatever they are., and not be so selfish with my time...    

4 comments:

  1. The positive thing is that you realize you were being negative. Sometimes we need to remember to rest. Rest and take care of you!

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    Replies
    1. You are right. Knowing is half the battle, right? I will indulge in some quiet time every chance I have. You too, since you always seem to have a lot spinning your world around too.

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  2. Thanks for the insight.

    I hope you get a great night's sleep tonight!

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