A Little Scare and the Worry Wagon

I thought I was done. No more tests, only routine doctor visits, but something felt wrong, off, not right, and I called my doctor. The first round of tests came back negative. The next step, a sonogram of my uterus.

After just completing treatment for breast cancer and reconstruction, my mind went immediately to “What if”, and I climbed onto the worry-wagon.

On the way back from my doctor’s office, we passed by cornfields, pumpkin patches, trees already turning color, and flowing creeks. After weeks of smoke, the sky was clear and a deep blue, dotted with fluffy clouds. Flocks of birds swirled and swayed against snow-capped peaks. I decided it was too beautiful of a day to spend under a dark cloud.

“Dear, Lord, if it is your will that I go through another illness, so be it. If it is cancer, so be it. My life is in your hands. I trust you, and I refuse to worry or be anxious, no matter the situation. Amen.”

I felt a sweet peace settle over me and I filled the wagon bed with flowers instead of weeds and thistles.

I opened today’s reading in my devotional, Good Morning, Lord. The title: Rainbows. These have popped up every time I’ve faced a serious illness, and in each instance they heralded a cure. Every time.

Joseph T. Sullivan wrote: “… If people say I’m naive because I see rainbows where they don’t, then so be it. Rainbows are beautiful, appearing after storms, golden opportunities to praise you. Thank you for the rainbows in my life. You express your love in many ways. Amen.”

And He does.

If I had any doubts, God added Psalm 37 to my devotions, verses: 3-6, 27-28, 39-40. Another message that has popped up in times of trouble.

“Trust in the Lord, and do good, and dwell in the land, and thou shalt be fed with its riches. Delight in the Lord, and he will give thee the requests of thy heart. Commit thy way to the lord, and trust in him, and he will do it… Decline from evil and do good, and dwell forever and ever. For the Lord loveth judgment, and will not forsake his saints: they shall be preserved forever… But the salvation of the just is from the Lord, and he is their protector in the time of trouble. And the Lord will help them and deliver them, and he will rescue them from the wicked, and save them, because they have hoped in him.”

Today is also the 7th of the month, another reminder of the promises God has given me in Psalms 27 and 37. 

Thank you, Lord, for loving me so much.