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Showing posts from March, 2011

You Know Not What You Ask

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You know not what you ask. Can you drink the chalice that I shall drink? They say to him: We can.
Matthew 20:22  The sun rose with all the splendor of a sunset. Simultaneously, a full moon, huge, golden, sank behind the western mountains. The scene reminded me of A Letter From a Friend.

I am writing to say how much I care for you. I want you to know me better. When you awoke this morning, I exploded a brilliant sunrise through your window, hoping to get your attention. But you didn’t even notice. Later you were walking with friends; I bathed you in warm sunshine and perfumed the air with flowers. Still you did not notice me. So I shouted to you in a thunderstorm and painted a beautiful rainbow. You didn’t even look! Tonight I spilled moonlight on your face and sent a cool breeze to refresh you. As you slept, I watched over you and shared your thoughts, but you were unaware of my presence. I hope you will talk to me soon. When you are ready, I will be near. I love you very much. You’re …

And the Lord Spoke

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And the Lord came and stood: and he called as he had the other times: Samuel, Samuel. And Samuel said: Speak, Lord, for thy servant is listening.    Samuel 3: 10

I was startled from a deep sleep by a voice demanding I read Psalm 120. I sat up and looked around. My husband was asleep and no one else was in the room. It had to be a dream. I snuggled back under the covers.

The voice repeated the command, louder and more insistent. I still refused to believe I was hearing a voice. I rolled over and squeezed my eyes shut. The voice again told me to read Psalm 120 and this time the words also flashed in bright neon-yellow against my closed eye lids.

"Alright, already!" I threw the covers off and stomped into the other room where I kept my bible. Like Samuel, I finally understood what was happening, but unlike Samuel, I wasn't pleased.  How would I explain this to anyone? Hearing voices? Yeah, right. But, I obeyed.

I plopped into my chair, picked up my bible and read the Psa…

The Post Office - Remember the Lilies

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Bills were due, receipts were low. I had just enough cash to buy a roll of stamps. My plan was to send out kind reminders to the past due accounts and then pray - hard - that the money would come in before my creditors cut me off.

Owning my own business was nothing like I thought it would be. I hadn't realized I would have two sets of bills to pay, personal and business. It was a tight wire act balancing the two, and too often I relied on the day's cash receipts to buy gas and groceries.  Business was good, that wasn't the issue. The shop was making money, sadly most of it was on the books, in the past due accounts.

I hated handling collections and procrastinated until I was nearly bankrupt. Either I mailed out the notices and made follow up phone calls, or lose the business. Neither choice was a pleasant prospect, but the first was definitely the better of the two.

At the Post Office, the teller asked what type of stamps I wanted: The Statue of Liberty or something els…

The Unexpected Messenger

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My devotions this morning reminded me God will never abandon us. He is with us always. It reminded of a bizarre incident that happened years ago. My third husband was in the hospital...

I stayed until way past visiting hours, leaving my husband's bedside only when the night shift insisted I go home. As I rode the elevator down to the ground floor, I fought back the tears, the fatigue, the sense of hopelessness. The cancer had spread, already encompassing one quarter of his brain.  The prognosis was six weeks.


I stepped outside into a biting wind, heavily scented with fresh snow. Maybe, with a little luck I might make it home before the storm hit, and with a little more luck I might have the dogs ran and fed too.

I groaned. We were out of dog food. The last thing I wanted to do was put on a civil face and go to the market. I wanted to go home, crawl into bed, curl up in a tight ball, cry my eyes out, and fall sleep.

The store parking lot was nearly empty. Surely that meant the c…

A Lesson in Honesty

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I was in a car accident. The other driver pulled out from a parallel park and raked the right side of my vehicle from front bumper to back. The woman then panicked, hit the accelerator instead of the break, and slammed into the back of my truck. Both cars were towed from the scene. My vehicle was totaled..

This was disconcerting for several reasons. First, I loved my truck. The half-ton, short bed, four-wheel-drive was perfect for hauling large orders and for getting around in our rural community. Second, and the most aggravating of all – it was paid for. However, no payments and low insurance rates equals low Blue Book value. Another vehicles meant monthly payments and higher insurance, especially commercial insurance.

Several friends advised against adding the commercial insurance on the new vehicle. They argued the chances were very slim the company would ever find out. I had used sub-contractors before, so how would the company know I hadn't continued that practice and was …

A Companion to Grow Old With – Conclusion - Africa

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A week later Peg and George invited Bill and I to dinner. On the drive over I gave God a list of demands. If I were to be in another relationship, it had to be effortless. I did not want to turn my world upside down for another man.

I should know better than to give God an ultimatum.

First, Bill was everything I had dreamed of - literally. He was tall, handsome, kind, and we had so much in common it was almost scary. We talked non-stop about art, history, books, travel. We even drank our coffee exactly the same (shades of Meet Joe Black). Half way through dinner Bill leaned close to ask a question, and I actually felt an electrical charge (another reference to Meet Joe Black - a theme?). When I was ready to leave, Bill walked me out to my vehicle.

"I'd like to see you again. Would you consider going out to dinner with me?"

"Yes."

"Well, I have odd days off, Sundays and Mondays. Would next Sunday work for you?"

"As a matter of fact, I have Sund…

A Companion to Grow Old With - Part Three

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My sister-in-law flew out from Minnesota to assist with Shannon’s personal things. After a day of emotional ups and downs we flopped, exhausted into chairs.

“Well, Dearie, I’ve had enough melancholy for one day. There are several Noir films I have been longing to watch without interruptions from my Cherubs. Shall we?”

After a quick run for supplies at the nearest market and video store, we settled in with our refreshments and movies. Our first movie was, Double Indemnity, an old black-and-white from the 1930s. Half way through the film one character turned to another and asked another if he had ever been to my hometown. It was a small community, isolated in the southeastern part of the state. In the 1930s it would barely have been a speck on the map.

In the next, Designing Woman, circa 1960, one of the main character’s last name was Shannon. Neither of us was giggling.

“What’s up with all of these odd coincidences?” Shari asked.

“I don’t know, and I’m sure not I find it amusing.”