Debts and Motives

Photo by John Hain from Pixabay

I recently read a quote by Maya Angelou that resonated with my tendency to criticize my past mistakes. “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.”

That quote helped me to forgive myself.

This turned my thoughts to debts. Not debts as money owed or gratitude, although there is plenty of that, but debts created from hurting others.

As Jesus taught us to pray in The Lord’s Prayer, “… and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors…”

Not an easy thing to do.

A meditation a few years ago from Kristen Armstrong in Living Faith, used this example for forgiving others. “A professor explained to me that emotional forgiveness is similar to the loan of a bank. We cease demanding payment for a debt we believe is owed us. We let it go. Even though the debt is no longer owed, the bank will not loan that person money again.”

It’s okay to forgive and not allow yourself to be a victim.

This is like forgiving my ex-husband for his abuse. I forgave him, but that did not mean I should stay in the relationship and allow him to continue to abuse me or our sons.

Years ago I stopped trying to figure out why he abused us. I will never know what his motivations were and trying to guess was a useless endeavor that only led to more frustration, more hurt, and more anger. I could judge his actions, but not his heart. Only God can do that.

“If you must look back, do so forgivingly. If you must look forward, do so prayerfully. However, the wisest thing you can do is be present in the present… Gratefully.” Maya Angelou