September 09, 2011

I Get It

The epiphany occurred at a red light. My thoughts were whirling around several concerns, my temporary job and pressure from family to put my needs above my conscious. A month had passed since I began my temporary position, and I was still training.  Two more months and the assignment would end and I'd be back job hunting. It seemed like a waste of time and energy for both the company and myself.

My family pointed out the company would not hesitate to make any adjustments necessary to ensure greater profits - at my expense. Why shouldn't I consider my needs first? I was not under contract, and could leave with only the customary two week notice. Sounds like a simple choice, except  two weeks would not be enough to train a replacement. Would that be ethical? I oscillated between the desire to ensure my future employment, and doing what my conscious told me to.

The epiphany occurred when I realized I didn't have to make that decision. I could let God decide. I know that sounds pat and trite, but I meant it in a way far different than before. Wayne Jacobsen in his book He Loves Me! put it well. Will I pray "Save Me!" or Glorify Your Name!"? In other words, who's interest would best be served by my decision, mine or His?

When I reflected on my previous experiences, I could honestly say I was happier walking through the flames with Him than I was skipping through the Valley of Perpetual Sunshine alone. There was an emptiness in the valley I didn't experience in the flames.

In confirmation, a gentle voice reminded me I had yet to do without the basics for survival. This last period between jobs I received a pay check every single week from one source or another. It wasn't always very much, but it took care of our most important needs. And this job, I didn't even apply for it. The agency called and I agreed to interview. When the job was offered, I was given a dollar an hour more than what the job originally posted for. Granted it was not as much as I was earning in my last position, yet it was enough to keep most of the financial wolves at bay.

When  I am honest with myself, I understand God will not allow me to glide through life like a spoiled child getting everything I ask for. As a parent I know that isn't healthy, and time and again, what looked like the worst possible outcome, turned out to be far better than I imagined.

St. Paul, always a good example of unerring faith, understood this basic principle. If God intended for something to happen, God would make it so. He knew God intended for him to go to Rome, and when the big storm hit, he had enough confidence in God's promises to comfort others.The ship was wrecked, but Paul made it to Rome. Granted he didn't float in on a grand ship. He and his fellow passengers had to swim for shore, clinging to wreckage, but he got there, and fulfilled God's purpose.

The same applies to my life. If God intends for me to stay on this earth a while longer, He will provide the means for me to do so. That means food, clothing and shelter. In the past He has paid my car insurance and taxes, even paid off large debts - and He used some very unconventional methods, ways I would never have conceived likely or plausible. In every instance, after much struggle and worry, and after I finally relinquished my opinion on how He should resolve the issue, the solution came. Sometimes the benefit wasn't readily apparent. I still struggle to understand some of the outcomes. These I must relinquish to His will.

My conclusion: even if my path - His path - appears choked with thorns, I can trust He will show me the way through the brambles, and throw in a few  roses, a sunny path or two, and some restful water along the way.

And we know that to them that love God, all things work together unto good, to such as according to his purpose, are called to be his saints. Romans 8:28  I finally get it.

10 comments:

  1. God delights in surprising us. He delights in saving us in ways we don't expect, in ways no man could save us, so only He will get the honor and the glory. I know He will rescue me from my current status. I don't know when, but I know He won't be late.

    Praying for you and your job situation. God bless.

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  2. Yes and Amen..and no, adapt in my post wasn't meaning to compromise...which I think you are saying here also...you are doing what the tree did...even through the worst of storms, or drought it stood strong, because the Lord kept that tree alive.

    Blessings as God continues to walk you through this journey...I so know about those supernatural provisions, just recently we were given a car....it was a supernatural provision.

    Great post!

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  3. Love this, Ceci! When our paths are filled with thorns, we forget that they only hurt when we lean against them to go in a different direction! But the roses will always be there! Great post!

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  4. Yes, Lorna, He will rescue you just as He will me. It is the timing we usually get wrong. We think NOW, and He has a whole other agenda. Praying for you, as well. Do keep me posted of any changes in your situation.

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  5. Janette, that is awesome about your car!

    And yes, adapt as in following which ever course He lays out for us, and not being rigid with our own agenda and ideas of what should happen. He will surprise us- every time.

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  6. You are right, Lynn. The thorns only hurt when we try to go through them and don't see the roses right in front of us.

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  7. You are right, Lynn. The thorns only hurt when we try to go through them and don't see the roses right in front of us.

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  8. I can so relate to this post. Last week, I was ready to give up writing until God provided amazing opportunities and encouraging words from friends. Now I am more motivated than ever to embrace new challenges. He often rescues us in ways we can't anticipate.

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  9. So inspirational and a great (and needed) reminder that He is faithful and way better at ordering my life than me. What a relief! Thanks for this post. I pray that this season will remind you again and again that God desires relationship with you, deep, abiding relationship. What treasure there is in knowing that.

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  10. Thank you, Donna Lynn for stopping in and commenting. Yes, it is good to remember He has it all under control, and we just need to let Him have it, without so much struggle.

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