The Spiral Staircase

This time it is worry over my new employers' opinion of my job performance, especially the young woman charged with training me. I know she thinks I stood in the DUMB line and asked for seconds. Don't get me wrong, she is not unprofessional or rude, just a bit curt and quick to point out, that whatever my question is, it is in the training manual, or "I already explained that." I walk away believing I am as dumb as she thinks I am - and yet, I know better.

Thrown into this is the holiday. Although I am looking forward to having an extra day to re-charge, I do so without pay.  As a temp, I do not qualify for paid holidays - or any benefits, which is another worry.

With these unhappy thoughts spiraling around in my mind, sleep would be a struggle. I picked up my newest library book, Standing in the Rainbow, by Fannie Flagg. This heartwarming story, filled with faith in God's providence, was just the right bedtime story. One character described what it felt like to stand inside a rainbow, and another character then sang, Somewhere Over the Rainbow. (Don't gag. It fit the story perfectly - really). It was the exact message and promise I needed.

My morning devotional, Good Morning, Lord by Fr. Joseph Sullivan, pointed how uptight and anxious we become over issues which actually have a very short shelf life. Most are forgotten within a week or two, soon replaced by another, and we forget to stop and simply smell the roses. God is all around us. His beauty is everywhere, when we chose to stop and notice. We know we can rely on Him. We know He understands our situation, and yet in spite of our faith, we regress back into the pit of Fear and Worry with the first hint of dark clouds or thunder. We wring our hands and start pacing, digging a deeper and deeper trench. God reaches out, offers to bring us into His light, but we too often choose to stay in the dark through lack of faith and trust.

Father Sullivan ends his prayer with,  "Then I recall the lines about the lilies of the field, how they are under your loving care.It will be a good day".

Psalm 27: 1,4, 13-14 was quoted in Living Faith: 

The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?

The lord is the protector of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?

One thing I have asked of the lord, this will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.

That I might see the delight of the Lord, and may visit his temple.

I believe to see the good things of the Lord in the land of the living.

Expect the Lord, do manfully, and let thy heart take courage, and wait thou for the Lord. 

Rainbows, lilies and Psalm 27. These symbols have heralded miracles in the past, unexpected solutions to my problems and issues.  Patiently, over and over, God teaches me the same lessons - with a difference. I might spiral around and around the same difficulties and failings, but each experience builds on the fruits of the one before it. In spite of my short falls, my faith and trust become stronger and I climb a step or two higher on the staircase. Today, I think I will follow Father Sullivan's advice and believe it will be a good day, and I bet most of my troubles will melt like lemon drops.