Some think that the glass is not only half-full, but also filled
with toxic water. Although I consider myself an optimist, I sometimes fall into
that logic. This usually occurs after I’ve made a mistake, used wrong judgment,
or made a mess of things in one way or the other. My co-workers, bless their
hearts, remind me (in a kind way) that I am
only human and I will make mistakes,
not only at work but also in my personal life. Granted, I do need to own up to
my failings and learn from them, but after that it is time to move forward.
However, I tend beat myself up for several hours, even days,
depending on the seriousness of my mistake. This causes my blood sugar to
plummet, which in turn affects my general health, which then adds to the
negative thought pattern. This downhill spiral is hard to stop and serves no
purpose after a short period of justified remorse and a fervent, “I’m sorry” when
that is warranted.
The psychology behind this self-punishment isn’t hard to
figure out. If I suffer enough, perhaps I can somehow atone for my error, lapse
of judgement, or insensitivity. I fail to remember Isaiah 43:25: “I am, I am he
that blots out thy iniquities for my own sake, and I will not remember thy
sins.” Even if my fellow humans cannot forgive or forget, God will. God loves ―
and forgives ― a contrite heart.