Saturday, November 29, 2014

What If It Snows?

By Evgeni Dinev "FreeDigitalPhotos.net"
I have managed not to worry about global warming, being murdered in my bed, tornados or hurricanes. (I know, we don't have the last two in Idaho, but I worried about them anyway.) In other words, I have managed to stop worrying about things I have no control over ―  mostly. However, other worries have replaced them. Why do I do that?

Every weekday morning, I utilize every possible second to write, read my devotions, and keep up on some social sites. Mixed in of course is time to shower, dress, fix my lunch, have breakfast, exercise and get on the road in time to be at work twenty miles away by eight in the morning.

That’s a lot to accomplish. If I was smart, I wouldn’t try to cram so much in, but I can't let go of any of it and thus starts the worry chain. What if it snows and I have to leave earlier? Well, guess what? It did snow.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Bitter Places

By Ambro"FreeDigitalPhotos.net"
“Even in unpleasant confrontations let there be honesty, kindness, and restraint.”
 Good Morning, Lord. Joseph T. Sullivan.

That is tough. It takes extreme self-control to respond to hateful words with kindness and restraint. I manage at first, but if the situation draws out over time, my resolve erodes under the barrage, my hackles raise and I respond. Not necessarily with hateful words, but entreaty for the confrontation to stop – loss of restraint.

I was in an abusive relationship for seven years. After ten years of therapy to overcome the fear, the panic attacks and the nightmares, I vowed I would never allow anyone to abuse or manipulate me again and I will go to great lengths to avoid a confrontation - until boxed in a corner. At that point I come out fighting.

A professional situation has me in that corner. Although I did not say unkind words, I did lose my restraint and plead with the person involved to stop the barrage. Of course it didn't work.