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Showing posts from February, 2012

Something of Value

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Mark 9:33- 33:  And they came to Capharnaum. And when they were in the house, he asked them: What did you discuss on the way? But they they remained silent, for they had disputed amoung themselves, which of them should be the greatest.
The quote cut deep, revealing the source of most of my anxiety - my value. Like the Apostles, I am constantly comparing my value against others. Am I as good or better than he/she/them? If I am not, how can I make myself more valuable? The right answer is to be kind, considerate, and give a full, honest day's work regardless of what others do. The wrong answer, which is often much easier, is to criticise and put down;  boast, gloat, insult, or become defenisve. The other choice, one I am particularly prone to, is to withdraw and pull away, nuturing feelings of inadequacy and unworth. All unproductive and destructive.

Rather, I need to fall back on my Christian faith. Scripture teaches us we are all valued, not because of our appearance, our behavo…

The Power of Silence

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As a young girl I was independent, fiery, opinionated. I would argue with anyone, gleefully taking the opposite side just for the sake of argument. I did it my way or not at all, and life was pretty tough and lonely. Then, a light came on and I realized I needed to adjust my attitude. From this point in time I can't say what instigated this change, it wasn't one light filled moment as with St. Paul's conversion. It was more likley a series of small things.

This change, however, did not dampen my outspoken nature. I still held forth on certain topics, but in a more socially accepted manner, tempered with concerns for others' feelings and needs. Then I married my first husband, and keeping my tongue in check had a whole other meaning.

After seven years of abuse I kept silent not from a standpoint of strength, but from fear. Gradually the suppressed anger, resentment, and hurt built up like steam in a sealed pressure cooker, and when this pressure reached critical mass,…

Will I Ever Learn?

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The young mother stood beside her cart in the breezeway, texting. Her five year old son stared off into space, his resignation to his mother's addiction obvious.

I nudged Bill. "Isn't that shameful?"

My sweet husband said nothing. Believing he hadn't heard, I shrugged and followed him into the store.

The next morning my devotions included the story of Solomon's idolatry in the last years of his kingship. Listening to the pleas of his pagan wives, he built altars to their gods, and worshiped them. I shook my head. After all God had done for him, how could he do that?

I glanced at the clock. Yikes. I only had a half hour before I needed to shower and leave for work, and  I had 't yet checked my e-mails, logged into Facebook or Twitter, or posted on any of my favorite sites. I'd have just enough time if I hurried a little through the last two readings and skipped my morning coffee with Bill.

As I lifted my Bible to put it away, it fell open to Daniel …

Wishing My Life Away

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When I was still in school, I would start whining about mid-March, loudly wishing it were June and summer vacation. After one of my more long winded sessions, my dad put down his paper and looked at me.

"Marie, life passes quickly enough, don't wish it away."

I didn't understand what he meant at the time, but as I am now past my middle years and stepping into my senior ones, I can, and do, appreciate his wisdom. Yet, I still seem to always be wishing for something: the weekend, vacation, or the golden years of retirement. I believe I will be happier when those moments finally arrive, but will that be true?

I've had hard weekends that made work look easy, vacations from hell, and retirement has a whole slew of other challenges. Is right now so bad I need to wish it away? Better I fill up on today, this moment, this hour. It is a gift, this Present.

Thank You, Lord for this inspiration as I am already wishing the day to be half over, the surprise overtime done an…